If Da Noh Soh…

Shyne on Mr. Barrow

The rapper known as Shyne, the son of our very own PM Dean Barrow, will be deported to Belize, or at least that’s the rumour out there. If you have problems believing some of the nasty things we say about the Prime Minister we all love to hate, you should see what the seed of his own loins has to say about him. See, Shyne hates his biological father because Barrow apparently wanted nothing to do with him when he was born – something to do with his having a Garifuna mother and Barrow being a racist, or at least that’s what all the articles on Shyne are saying. Anyway, the rift between Shyne and the sperm donor are so bad that if Shyne does come to town on the deportation plane, he won’t be staying at the prime ministerial palace on Seashore Drive. Nope, Uncle Finny says that his beloved nephew will have a home with him on Goldson Avenue. Okay then. Anyway, things will get very interesting for the Barrow clan in a hurry, cause sources tell us that Barrow in his old age wants to make amends and has come up with a plum for his long lost son which is making ex-wifey fume. See, Barrow apparently wants to appoint Shyne to the board of directors at BTL. Hell, don’t laugh, if Barrow could get away with making Anwar a big chief at BTL, why shouldn’t Shyne get a seat on the board too. Chuckle all you want, but when that time rolls around, just remember that you read it here first…If Da Noh Soh!

A total failure…

Wouldn’t it be poetic justice if Minister of Health Pablo Marin got a massive case of the swine flu, or dengue, or malaria or hepatitis A? Not that we wish the moron ill health, but ‘mi bally’ messed up the Ministry of Health and then runs and hides when the swine and mosquitoes come home to roost. Jeez, nobody should be surprised at the nonsense he does. Remember, he’s the same minister who appointed his nephew chief of staff at the Corozal when his nephew isn’t even a doctor. He’s the same man that made his cousin Hospital Administrator in Orange Walk, when her only qualifications were running a gas station in the Free Zone. How on earth could we have expected him to handle things in the Ministry of Health? But he’s been busy anyway, though not doing what he should. Instead, he’s been taking away lots in Corozal and giving it to cronies and just generally chancing Corozal residents. He just recently chanced a single mother in Corozal. See, the MoH was renting two houses from this lady for the Cuban doctors. Pablo didn’t like that, so he took away the rental contract and instead gave it to his brother’s father-in-law. If you don’t believe it, ask him. More than likely you can find him at one of the casinos at the Free Zone…If Da Noh Soh…

Mayor Hideaway Campos…

And since we’re on the subject on Corozal, has anybody since the UDP Mayor? Or let me rephrase that – has anybody seen the UDP Mayor acting in his official capacity and not acting the fool at the casino? Well let me give you a clue as to his whereabouts, or at least where he can be found on those rare occasions when he shakes off the drunken stupor and casino fever and remembers that he was elected to do something. Mayor ‘Hideaway’ Campos has built himself a new office at the back of the Town Hall where the public can’t see him. He parks his brand new vehicle at the back of the building and instructs his secretary to inform people that he is not in, since he says they’re just coming to bother him anyway. And by the way, that brand new vehicle paid for by taxpayer funds has already been dented at the casino and sports private license plates. What’s up with the, Mr. Hideaway…? If Da Noh Soh!

Get off the Road…

Maybe this doesn’t exactly belong in this column, but for the love of God could somebody tell that sour-looking clear the dread Castro to get the hell off the road in the morning. For about a week now the pappy-show dread has been doing his cycling thing on the Northern Highway, but that’s not the bad thing. See, he has his driver in his government vehicle drive in front of him and be his support vehicle. Damn him. The man holds up traffic for miles when people are trying to get into the city to their workplaces. Not only that, but we are paying for the fuel in the government vehicle and for the wear and tear on that vehicle and for the overtime so his driver can act as support. Mein that just wrong on so many levels. Could somebody please get that fool off the road…If Da Noh Soh!

Gotta keep it real…

Maybe this doesn’t belong in this column either, but while Castro uses one of his government rides to baby him while he exercises, the Hattieville Police Station is operating without a vehicle because of mechanical problems. The man at the Ministry of Health is saying that he can’t spray for dengue and malaria because he has no vehicles. That’s how messed up we are under the UDP – for real…An dat da soh…

Funny one BTL clowns…

The clowns at the Barrow Telemedia Limited have just pulled a new rabbit out the bag of laughs. See, the red company (cause that is what it’s become) has a new master marketing plan courtesy of the brainchild Anwar. BTL is saying that you can take in your SMART phone and give it to them, and if you give them $29 along with your SMART phone, they’ll give you back a little cheapie Nokia with no features – just your basic run of the mill cheap phone. Let me break this down again – I take in my SMART phone which cost me $600 and hand it over to BTL. Then I reach into my pocket and fork over another $29. Then the guy at BTL will smile and hand over a cheap basic phone. I’m really not getting this. This must have lost something in the translation. Either that or it’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. Can you hear me laughing? Can you see my belly jiggling? Hahahahahahahahaha! Good one guys…If Da Noh Soh!

Really really funny…

Very reliable word reaching this columnist is that a few days ago, Barrow Telemedia Moguls Anwar Barrow, Net Vasquez and Manuel Esquivel travelled to Mexico to pay a visit to telecom mogul Carlos Slim. From what we’ve been told, they did manage to see him – well, that is, a picture of him which was mounted in the waiting room. Apparently Slim’s secretary told the trio that he was too busy to deal with them and sent them packing in a hurry. Now that is some funny s@#t…what’s Barrow going to come up with now? If Da Noh Soh!

Not funny at all…

BTL has allegedly lost $6 million dollars in its first month of operations under the UDP. That is certainly no laughing matter but it is also no surprise. The UDP has proven that it cannot run the municipalities efficiently and it cannot run the country efficiently so I was kinda wondering why anybody would cheer when Barrow decided to hijack the $600million BTL. And there’s more bad news. Word straight out of BTL is that the company will not be paying out any Christmas bonuses or passage grants this year. I wonder if Paul Perriott is laughing at that one, since he did all but rub Barrow’s bald head in support of the BTL takeover. And even better than that, I wonder how he will break this news to the BTL workers. If Da Noh Soh…

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