If Da Noh Soh!

No rest for the wicked…
Was thinking about taking a little break this week, cause this bunch of idiots in the UDP sure can wear a body and mind down with their perpetual bleeps, bloopers and blunders show. Then a friend called and told me that she looks forward to her Friday ritual of coffee, a doughnut and If Da Noh Soh! Hell, who am I to disrupt an old, honoured and eminently worthwhile ritual like that. So my friend, here goes another episode of the dumb, dumber and asinine show, just for you…

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Dutty Bugga Gapi…

My buddy Margarito Vega from OW just can’t seem to keep himself out of trouble. I was looking at the news tonight and lo and behold, there was this gentleman Schakron telling the media how he was forced to bring charges against Joe Coye by no other than Mags. Apparently Mags through his Ministry had put a caution on a piece of property owned by Schakron, and the deal was that caution would be lifted if Schakron would point the finger at Joe Coye. Man, what a dutty bugga Gapi is, eh? But no worry, my friend – every slick fat fowl has its Sunday, and I predict that your Sunday is coming in next week’s issue of the Belize Times. Remember all those documents I mentioned – all the land giveaways, all the ‘facilitation of land transactions for a consideration? Remember Ceiba Realty? Pick up your issue of the Belize Times next week, cause sure as hell Gapi will be waiting to get his hot off the press…If Da Noh Soh!

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My way or the highway…

Very, very reliable word reaching this columnist is that there was a big blow-up in Cabinet recently between the bald-headed one and the Mennonite Minister from out west. Seems like there were some very choice words passed over the awarding of a contract for the construction of the sporting complex on Princess Margaret Drive. My source says that Penner wanted to award the contract to Modern Company from his area (and which it appears he is very close to, if you know what I mean). But Barrow put his foot down and the contract went to I.E. Company instead. Reports are that I.E. Company is a cover for the Arguelles brothers, including angelic looking Speaker of the House Emil Arguelles. Things apparently got so heated that Penner was told to shut up or he would be kicked the hell out. Ouch for poor Penner. Things are really looking up for the Arguelles crew. They got the multimillion dollar contract for the renovation of the ITVET in the Technical Compound and now the reportedly more than $20million contract for the building of the complex. It’s good to be a UDP crony…If Da Noh Soh!

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What’s up with that…?
What the hell is up with GOB behaving like a bunch of crackheads with the American who had the misfortune to bring his family to our shores? The red rogues descended upon him like a bunch of hyenas and are stripping him of all he had – including his boat, his money and all his assets. We’ve been told that he entered the country legally, presenting his passport and that his only sin has been not declaring that he carried more than $10,000 in currency with him. Okay, fine that’s one thing. But now he’s being charged with money laundering. How the hell can he be charged with money laundering just because he had about $120,000 of cash on him? Could somebody point out that law to me? But the situation gets more tangled. The prosecutor from the FIU (another Arguelles, damn them) has apparently been caught up in a plot to take away this man’s assets by threatening him with his family. See, Arguelles is one of those who apparently telling the American that if he doesn’t plead guilty to money laundering his wife will go to jail for 11 years and his daughter will be taken away from them. If he pleads guilty to money laundering, all his assets will be taken away from him by GOB. That is some serious business. Really serious! That’s what we’ve come down to in Belize…If Da Noh Soh!

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Way past the mark…
Man, there’s some funny dealings going on with Boots. Everybody knows it, even the bald headed one though he’ll never admit it. Boots da mi bally, but even I get pissed this morning when I heard a kind of convoluted story about a woman getting a grant for a 3 bedroom house cement house and instead getting a two bedroom cramped unfinished plycem house. Even a blind man can see that. I haven’t gotten the full story, but it seems like all the materials provided through the Venezuela grant for the three bedroom cement house have also been seized by Boots. Man that just wrong. These are poor people that the UDP is messing with. Serious that just wrong! But no worry, by next week we’ll have the full story. And this just in! Word reaching this columnist is that Boots Martinez pulled a gun on the son of the woman in question (Myrna Ferguson) today after they apparently had some hard words at the house site. Not only that, but the Minister allegedly had the young man taken away by Police and locked down too…If Da Noh Soh!

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Move over Carlos…
You know how we always deh run joke on the radio about Ramon Witz taking over from Carlos Perdomo as the new Minister of National Security. Well it seems like Ramon Witz didn’t realize that we were joking and is now actively campaigning for that position. Sources inside the Police Department in Belmopan say he spends most of the week there snooping around, asking questions and issuing instructions. Not only that, but he has been telling people in his constituency that it will be only a matter of weeks before he’s the man at the helm in the Ministry of National Security, so he must have gotten some assurance from the big boss during their closed door meeting last week. See Ramon, you’re not the only one who can snoop around. You read it here first, Carlos…If Da Noh Soh!

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