This ain’t a game Jack…

By: Mike Rudon Jr.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the people we elected to represent us in the House of Representatives don’t take us very seriously at all. Before elections, we’re very, very important. On Election Day, from the opening of polls to the closing of polls, we’re the most important and valuable commodity in this whole world. After elections, we’re worth just about as much as that brown stuff your dog leaves behind at the most inconvenient locations. Don’t take my word for it – examine your own particular situation. Before elections our representatives could be reached 24-7…hell, before elections we saw them more than we needed or wanted. We only had to blink two times rapidly and they were there like some weird manifestation, dripping camaraderie and doling out goodwill and promises. Try that s@#t now, after we put them in office. You can go around blinking until your neighbours think you’re afflicted with St. Vitus Dance and your representatives in government couldn’t give a damn. They’ve reached…they’re there! See you next election, stupid.

I listened to Mr. Barrow in the House of Representatives last week for the budget debate. You’d be right to think I don’t like our prime minister. I think he is that most dangerous animal in the kingdom – a smart fool. I think that our prime minister has been convinced by those around him that eloquence and pretty speech add up to good leadership. Nothing could be further from the truth. Mr. Barrow is in a unique position to wreak serious damage to our nation and our people. Just look around us. Our prime minister makes an empty barrel look bursting at the seams. He has unlimited power, unlimited authority, nobody around him with any brains or will to point out mistakes and the thing is – Mr. Barrow wouldn’t listen even if they did. This dude thinks he is the greatest thing since white bread. That is a recipe for disaster, Jack!

Mr. Barrow stood up in the House on Friday and smugly pointed out that there was nobody outside on Independence Hill protesting his budget, so that meant everything was cool. Bring in the taxes. Our prime minister was smiling when he said that. But see, he can afford to smile because he is a millionaire many times over. He is living in the best of times. He has ensured that his family members are enjoying the best of times.

The Prime Minister threw that one out there as if to say – see, I dropped the hammer on you idiots again and because sweet music was playing from the speakers you didn’t even notice. I fooled all of you again, simpered our prime minister. All his colleagues snickered and pounded on the desks and roared with laughter because they shafted us yet again, and nobody was on Independence Hill protesting.

The House of Representatives has turned into a joke. With all due respect, Mr. Speaker, you need to close down that circus before one of the clowns meets with an unfortunate accident on the trapeze. The House has turned into a staging ground for the ‘bestest and brightest and most brilliantest.’ Mr. Barrow must rehearse endlessly before he steps onto the stage to deliver his lines with verve and foppish finesse. It’s become all about who can deliver the best sound bites, be it pretty phrase or near blasphemous insult. I watched as clown after clown performed his act – Patrick with eyes bulging and voice hoarse as he ranted and raved and gesticulated hysterically…Bravo! Then there was the fat clown with the red nose, John I think his name was who jiggled and bobbled through his act, his pretense at mental agility so obvious it made the crowd roar. And the show went on and on. Because show it was…nothing more.

And what of the people’s business…well, who gives a s@#t? We all got a chance to see how bright our prime minister is. We all got a good dose of the macabre, the bizarre and the grotesque from the rest of the UDP crew. In the end there were superb sound bites good for endless laughs but precious little attention to the people’s business. Seems nobody cares about the people’s business anymore. In the end, Belizeans will still have to pay out $110M more in taxes and we still don’t really know why. We still don’t really know what lies ahead for us, since our prime minister says the worst is yet to come. We should have gotten the answers to those questions and others during the House debate, but the circus hadn’t left town yet so the serious business of the House was apparently postponed.

It would be nice to see the prime minister get up and tell Belizeans what’s what, minus the flowery bullshit and minus all the convoluted speak. It would be nice to see our representatives get up and have constructive, rational and informative discussions in the House on matters which affect us. We don’t need to know whose great granny used to drink whiskey out of the bottle and whose twice removed cousin pays regular visits to the brothel. Leave that crap at home. Discuss that over drinks at Brads. We put you in the House to represent us, gentlemen, and so far you’re doing a piss-poor job. Would it be too much to ask that you all get back to the people’s business?

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