If Da Noh Soh…

Oh no mini-Mugabe…

Late word to this columnist is that mini-Mugabe had to be sedated when he saw the release from the Bar Association basically confirming what we’ve been saying so long – you’re a damned dictator and despot and an untrustworthy fellow, big man (well that’s my translation of the release and I’m sticking to it). Hear baldy called for the first wife second lady to attend the Bar Association meeting to speak up for him, but Loisy said oh hell no. See, apparently she’d already gotten word that every lawyer at the meeting was going to sign on to the release and she didn’t plan on looking like the odd one out, not even for the bald bubby-holder. So Lois didn’t show up and Michael Young abstained and every other attorney who was there gave the bukut to mini-Mugabe. Signs of things to come, my arrogant friend…signs of things to come!

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Guilty feelings…

Tell you the truth sometimes I feel kinda bad to have so much fun at the expense of the idiots on the other side…like last week I felt guilty for almost a minute for poking fun at my confused ‘bally’ from the Guardian, even more so when I received a call telling me that he had burst into tears when he read the piece on him in the Belize Times…sobbed like a baby, they said. That made me sad, because I never meant to make him cry…LOL! What a big baby. If Da Noh Soh!

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First class dunce…

And since we’re on the subject of idiots…you’ve gotta be kidding me. I just got word that the barefoot minister and his CMLSO (Chief Money-Laundering Suspect Officer – yup I just made that one up) recently went on a trip to Panama. My barefoot buddy was sent to sit by himself in the economy seats at the back of the plane while the CMLSO reclined in plush comfort in First Class. No lie…can you imagine that? People were cracking up because ‘sin zapatos’ spent the entire flight craning his neck to see what was being served in first class. Word is that by the time he got his little buzz on he was loudly protesting every time the CMLSO was served champagne and snacks, telling everyone who would listen that he is really the minister. Hahahaha…of course nobody believed that. Ayyy these people kill me…If Da Noh Soh!

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Church petition…

Word has it that lately the bald one has been advising his motley crew that they have to get more involved in the churches in their areas (a serious case of do as baldy says and not as baldy does). Anyway, the big cheese reportedly told his boys that they have to be on the forefront of every conversation in church…that they have to be the biggest topics of conversation. Of course, the hairless one meant that they should get involved in a good way but the damned dimWitz misunderstood the whole thing. But it worked. Sure nuff dim Witz is the topic of conversation in church and sure nuff everybody’s talking about him. Hell (excuse my blasphemy), last week the pastor at a church spent his entire sermon ranting and raving about how dimWitz is involved in the sale of a green area in Belmopan. The pastor even circulated a petition asking churchgoers to sign up against the corruption at ReconDev. Yeah baldy I know this wasn’t the church participation you had in mind but you’re gonna have to deal with this situation in Cayo South sooner rather than later…If Da Noh Soh!

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Hummer Bummer…

Last week I was asking about mi bally the Mayor of Belize City who’s been strangely isolated from the media lately. Where is my buddy, I wondered. Oh where oh where can she be? Well, somebody called me last week and gave me a clue where she could be found. Looks like after hours the hubby drags the tarp off the yellow Hummer, backs it out the garage where it stays hidden and he, Z and little half-a-dalla go circling around the city in the H3 with loud music blasting from the speakers? No, said I. Can’t be! The last time the Mayor was accused of owning a Hummer she said oh no, her bottom had never touched ground in a Hummer. We wonder what she would say if asked the question today…oh yeah, she’d probably say in her best third person manner…well, you know how Zenaida no mek wah move without God guidance…yeah right Z, God told you to go buy a Hummer. Jeez. If Da Noh Soh!

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Hell No!

We’d like to take this opportunity to send a message to the Mayor without a cause or a color – don’t bother to come back. The doors of Independence Hall will always be closed to you. Stop sending messages…stop sending emissaries – NO MEANS NO!

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No Brief Tiefs wanted…

The same message goes out to the convicted brief tief…hear since his speed-dial malfunctioned recently and none of his red buddies answered the call he’s been making enquiries about space under the big blue tent. Give it up, Creamy! I went out and took measurements myself and there ain’t no space under there for you. Better try getting that speed-dial problem resolved…If Da Noh Soh!

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ACB breaking up…

Well to nobody’s really great surprise, the Association Concerned about Barrow (ACB) is breaking up. See, back then before elections the ACB wasn’t such a bad place to be cause everybody was looking to baldy as the black Moses leading the masses out of the wilderness. But what this Moses did is lead the masses out of the wilderness and off the edge of a cliff into rough seas filled with giant man-eating sharks. So now everybody in the ACB is jumping ship at a time when the country most needs a real true true ACB. We predicted it a long time ago. It has now come to pass. If Da Noh Soh!

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BTL Chancey…

Another thing we’ve been predicting for some time is mutiny within the ranks at the Barrow Telemedia Limited and trust me, that’s coming sooner rather than later. Lots of not so nice things happening in there like the under-qualified relative of a Minister in the Accounts Department being elevated to a senior post. Then there’s the fact that junior employees in the BESL section who are known UDP cronies getting huge raises. Oh yeah, then there’s the firing of a valued employee in Corozal just because he attended a PUP rally. Yup, things are going to blow soon, and you’ll be able to say you read it here first…If Da Noh Soh!

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