If Da Noh Soh!

You see…

Remember that you saw it in here first…first wife second lady Loisy has her mind set on being Belize’s next Attorney-General and since ex-hubby can’t seem to say no to his love bunny, it’s as good as a done deal. Check it out…when the CJ ruled in favour of the Mayas this week, a tired and shell-shocked Loisy immediately stated that GOB would appeal the case. Now it seems to me that if she is just GOB’s attorney in this case, she would need to go check with her clients to discuss the next move. But nope, Loisy took charge and told the media exactly what GOB’s next move would be. How you like that? But hey, even blind eye jamesy could see ex-hubby’s play when he made BQ Pitts the (temporary?) Attorney-General! Lawd, even the man’s friends say that Pitts’ mental faculties are kinda ‘iffy’ right now. Looks to us like the old man only has to stand in for a little while longer before the real Slim Shady stands up and steps into place…If Da Noh Soh!

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What stinks…?

This columnist has received word that the management of a hotel in Miami is contemplating billing Prime Minister Dean Barrow for costs incurred in evacuating more than 1,000 guests from the hotel last Friday. The evacuation was ordered after a horrendous stench pervaded the facilities and authorities could not identify the source. Subsequent investigations have revealed that while the smell was highly offensive it was not toxic and posed no real threat to guests. Apparently investigations have also revealed that the terrible odor emanated from the room where Dean was holding a big party to get in his requisite photo opportunities. Furthermore sources close to investigators have revealed to this columnist that partygoers report getting the first whiff of the stench immediately after the Prime Minister started his speech. They are also reporting that the smell grew stronger as the speech continued, and halfway through his speech the guests could take it no longer and that is when the evacuation was ordered. While authorities have identified the source of the smell, they are reportedly questioning a cattle rancher who claims that he knows exactly what the smell is…LOL. If Da Noh Soh!

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Zone closed down…

I hear there’ll be an uprising in the Free Zone anytime now. Business owners are saying that things are already really, really bad and some of them have been operating at a loss, and now the UDP clowns in power put even more of a hurting on them. See, on Saturday when Alex decided to pay us a visit the head of the Zone got an attack of the nerves and closed down all shops in the Zone. By 4:00pm more than 3,000 Mexicans who were shopping had been chased out under bells, leaving business owners furious. Our smarter counterparts right across the border kept all their shops and the Mall open for business as usual while our chief idiots at the Zone made an already bad situation worse. The higher the monkey climbs, say our angry friends from up north, the more he shows his ass…If Da Noh Soh!

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What the hell…?

Damn, talk about a picture being worth a thousand words…check this one out! This is our new Consulate across the border in Chetumal, complete with Consul-General Jorge Valencia. So I looked at the picture from the left and I looked at it from the right…I even squinted but the image stayed the same. What you see here is what you get – a garage passing as the Consulate of Belize. Shame! I wonder how much we’re paying Mr. Valencia as Consul-General. I’d love to know how much we’re paying to operate this ‘office.’ But wait, maybe we’re wrong and this is a full service Consulate – maybe Belizeans can discuss important matters with the Honorary-Consul and have him change their oil at the same time…eh could be! What a bloody witless UDP this is…things done haad for Belizeans but the fleecing continues…If Da Noh Soh!

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We’re in Miami b##@h!

And since we’re on the subject of fleecing…maybe baldy could tell us how much we’re paying to keep our Consulate in Miami operating. I did a little digging and came up with a figure, but I’d like to get some verification from our just returned from Miami leader. I hear we’re paying something like $350,000 every year to keep our Miami Consulate operational. I’d be interested in knowing how much Ms. Sylvester gets in salary and perks and just who collects about $111,000 in overtime alone. Yup, that’s right – $111,000 in overtime. Methinks that it is time for an investigation to be done into the monies allocated to our Consuls and embassies in foreign lands. Lawd, Mr. Barrow yu really chancey…If Da Noh Soh!

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New security measures…

About two weeks ago the Belize Times called on mini-Mugabe to address the issue of security at the Court, especially after the broad daylight brazen execution of Andre Trapp. So we understand that baldy consulted with the brightest minds (LMAO) in his Cabinet, then he thought long and hard about the situation before coming up with a brilliant idea. Yup, you can see it right here. This picture shows Mr. Barrow’s answer to the security dilemma by the Courts. Ay, no wonder Belize is in such a quandary…If Da Noh Soh!

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Over-prepared?

In another column in another section of this newspaper I made a comment that the UDP idiots were probably patting themselves on the back and taking credit for the fact that Tropical Storm Alex wasn’t as bad as had been predicted. So said so done! Those idiots are nothing if not predictable. Boss, Belizeans were lucky that Alex didn’t deliver what it promised. How the hell can NEMO take credit for that? How stupid can these people be? The fact of the matter is that Mr. NEMO should be on his knees thanking the good Lord for saving him and covering up his complete failure in preparing for this storm. No sleep yet, boss, because the Hurricane Season is young yet…If Da Noh Soh!

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