If Da Noh Soh!

Drunk and disorderly…

The long anticipated Caye Caulker Lobster Fest was held this past weekend and by all reports it was quite a bash. This columnist got tied up in other nefarious pursuits so couldn’t make it but I thought, no worries, I can always get the juiciest details from my ole buddy barefoot Jr. But here’s how that went. You ever heard the saying – what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? Well insofar as my buddy barefoot goes, this was a case of what happens in Caye Caulker stays in Caye Caulker because my buddy was so drunk that he just couldn’t remember any of it. Word is that my friend got enamored of the island brew and had to be carried to his golf cart by two embarrassed women. But that’s not the sweetest thing. Either the women were in too much of a hurry to drive off or barefoot was in no shape to hold on, but the golf cart took off in one direction and Junior took off in the other direction…BRIGIDIM BOOF! Jeez buddy, no wonder your CEO who calls himself the real minister loves making fun of you at all his high-profile meetings…If Da Noh Soh!

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Vayense Cabron!

And from one embarrassed minister to another…mein, I hear the little boy created in Barrow’s image was fuming this weekend after he was turned back from the Chetumal border for behaving like an idiot. See, he gets away with that stuff here so he feels that he can take it anywhere…either that of he feels that his exalted status in Belize makes him special all over the world. What an idiot. Anyway, apparently the little runt didn’t want to go through procedures like the normal folk at Chetumal Immigration and blew his top when he was told that he would have to fill in a form just like everybody else. Buddy tried his usual rant including ‘don’t you know who I is?’ and ‘don’t you know who my boss is.’ But nobody on that side really gave a damn. When he got a little too loud and disorderly, he was apparently not so politely told to hit the road back to the land in which he believed that he mattered. Ouch for Patrick. Hey, let’s look on the bright side. The little minister was driving his government ride which we pay for, so at the very least the Mexican officials saved us some of the money we would have had to pay for gas for Patrick’s little jaunt in Chets…If Da Noh Soh!

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Up to the challenge?

Could somebody please take off Philloughby’s stupid superman hat and slap him upside the head with it? The guy is so stupid that he’s too stupid to realize that he’s stupid – know what I mean? I listened to him on the news last night responding to complaints from city residents about the garbage and swampy situation in their areas. So up jumps silly Philloughby and talks about it being a big task, but they’re up to the challenge. Up to the challenge? Boss, in all this time in office you guys have managed to wreck the city. Our streets are wrecked. Our parks and playgrounds are dilapidated. Garbage is all over the place. Nobody gets anything from the Council in the way of basic services. So for Philloughby to say that they are up to the challenge of fixing the mess is just a big joke. And get this – do you think it’s any fluke that the day after Philloughby announced that he would think about going for the Mayor’s job the UDP announced that Zenaida had been un-expelled? Think about it. If Da Noh Soh!

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Health scare…

Word coming out of Central American national health centers is that staff has threatened a go-slow after news emerged that Belize’s Minister of Health Pablo Marin would be taking over as the new Pro-Tempore President of the Council of Ministers of Health of Central America. Apparently that news and the chance that Marin might actually have some input on health policy in the region put quite a scare into health centers which are currently already experiencing challenges in that sector. Any input from Marin, they allegedly say, will no doubt result in complete disorganization and disaster to their respective health systems. As evidence they point to the health system in Belize which has been devastated since Marin took over as Minister of Health. The only entities benefitting from Marin’s stint as Minister of Health, they claim, are the private hospitals which have seen an increase in patients who are afraid to entrust their medical care to the public health system in Belize. As an olive branch, some vocal medical practitioners say that if Marin agrees not to interfere or offer any input whatsoever, they would be willing to throw some electrical work his way…If Da Noh Soh!

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Thank you Belize Times…

As an organization we rarely take time to blow our own horn, since pointing out the inadequacies of this UDP administration and revealing their corrupt inner workings is a labour of love we perform for the benefit of the Belizean people. And yeah, it’s a lot of fun too. Two weeks ago the Belize Times ran a full page piece pointing out that it has been more than 8 months since the Government started to repair a small section of road at mile 7 on the Northern Highway. Actually we were being nice because it’s been more like a year. But anyway, we were happy to see that somebody took note and this week some material was taken to the area and it looks like some work might be done. Keep your fingers crossed, people. We’ve also pointed out that it’s been much more than two years since the Kendall Bridge washed away and nothing has been done. Who knows, maybe the people in the South will get a bridge before this bunch gets kicked out of office…If Da Noh Soh!

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BACK OFF!

I’ve had to be pretty careful when writing about the confused editor of the UDP rag because even his friends were embarrassed when he broke down and cried, but I just got to say this to whoever’s willing to take notice. You guys are crossing the line. Don’t get me wrong, I’m willing to go down and dirty with the best of them, but I’m throwing out this caution so that you all know that if this continues it’s going to get very nasty. Over on this side we’ve been happy to hit political targets but family has been kept out of the equation for the most part. I notice that in weeks past something has changed over on the other side – the attacks are not more focused or harder hitting, just nastier and more malicious and scattered. Just this week a person who is involved in politics in no way took a beating in the Guardian. Hell, guys, take this as a nice gesture on my part because after this there won’t be any more. I’d throw out some of the stuff we have right now just to show that we have the goods, but I’m being advised to be nice, at least this week. DAT DA SOH!

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