If Da Noh Soh!

Oh Mr. Singh…

I feel so very bad for the poor Minister of Police Doug Singh appears to have been caught smack dab in the middle of some very questionable circumstances over the weekend. Sources close to the emotional fellow say he was broken-hearted to learn that when people heard about a mystery boat that resembled a drug vessel because of its unidentifiable features and the Minister’s presence, everybody said oh oh! and immediately assumed the worst. Lucky for Doug that Mr. Chamberlain came up with a great story to explain the presence of the boat, but there are still a lot of questions out there, like hmmm, is it true that the boat was actually found moored in the mangroves in the canal behind Landivar? And is it true that when Police came up on the boat, they found plastic wrapping on board? And is it true that when the Minister arrived on the scene he told ADU personnel that the boat was actually his? And why exactly did the Minister of Police call a meeting with all the personnel from the ADU who were on the scene? And then there are the lesser questions like – why wasn’t the boat impounded since it was unlicensed and unregistered? And why wasn’t the owner charged, since regular Belizean fishermen found in a boat that is not licensed are charged $1000 and if the boat is not registered that’s another $1000? Yeah, so great story Doug. Methinks you got away lucky this time, my friend, but maybe you learned an interesting lesson from the fact that the nation was so readily prepared to think the worst of you…If Da Noh So!

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No DYING Allowed…

Word is that acting Mayor Philloughby has come up with a flyer which will be circulated around Belize City. According to a source, this flyer warns residents that as of this week there are only 9 spaces left at the Lord Ridge Cemetery. According to the source, the flyer states, “the City Council respectfully requests that if at all possible, residents of the City refrain from passing away at this time. Temporary arrangements are being made for a limited amount of burials at mile 5.5 just past the Haulover Bridge beside the huge mansion. The Council will advise when other permanent facilities have been prepared and things can return to normal. Please advise all family members, friends and loved ones. Sorry for any inconvenience caused.” If Da Noh Soh!

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Good Governance 101…

In case you’ve been missing our wonderful Mayor who is always good for a few laughs whenever she opens her mouth, she’s not in the country right now. She’s taking an intensive course somewhere in the Caribbean where she’s learning tips on being a good politician. Can you imagine? If you ask me that’s a waste of a space where another perfectly good Belizean woman who is serious about serving her country could have made an impact. Lady Z has already got her chance and instead of asking what she could do for her country, she made damned sure she figured out what our country’s coffers could do for her. And hell, I hear she’s missing half of the courses anyway, since she’s been asked to sit out lectures on accountability, transparency and good governance, If Da Noh Soh!

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SSB woes…

The Social Security Board has been in the spotlight lately after they gave a big contract in PG to a Guatemalan company over a Belizean company. Dem pipple only chancey. They no realize that the Belizean company pays its taxes and pays its Social Security contributions and all the Belizean employees who would have gotten work would have paid contributions into SSB. Now they’ve given it to a Guatemalan company who will probably bring in all the materials duty free and which pays nothing to SSB. Dem foolish bad. Of course this kinda makes me wonder if somebody’s hands may not have been greased just a bit because there is no other rationale for the Guatemalan company getting the contract. We’ve heard a lot of things about a board member whose company gets all the big jobs from Social Security, and word is that this same gentleman is the one who pushed the Guatemalan deal. Well you know that with this UDP bunch much stranger things than just a little hustling have happened…If Da Noh Soh!

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Marvelous Merlene…

And since we’re on the subject of the SSB, my good friend the marvelous Merlene is the center of attention in the staff-room. I hear that members of staff have mounted a picture of her on the wall and they use it for dart practice. Serious thing! Staff are grumbling because certain buddies of Merlene have been able to access special perks, like this manager who was able to secure a loan from SSB at a low, low interest rate so her daughter could buy a car. Then there’s the fact that members of staff have applied for housing loans and even though they meet all the requirements their applications have been stalled in the pipeline. Where’s the Union rep, you may ask? Has the rep been compromised to the point that she serves absolutely no purpose, at least in terms of assisting workers? Well that’s a whole other story we’ll be happy to get into very soon…If Da Noh Soh!

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The Malpago Lists…

Word from la Isla Bonita is that the Town Council has been publishing lists of those who are in arrears in terms of trade licenses and property taxes. Hey, it’s an unsavory business but its practices by municipal administrations across the country so we’ve got to live with that. But according to our island source, what is exceedingly strange is that the names appearing on the list are only names of known PUP supporters. Apparently there are no UDP supporters on the island who owe property taxes or trade license fees. Imagine that. What a wonderful bunch of people, eh? But our source also pointed out that one high profile name is missing from the list as well. See, our friendly island Mayor has her fingers in two well known pies on the island, Big Daddy’s Nightclub and Zac Bajo Restaurant and Bar. Our source claims that both businesses are in arrears in terms of trade license fees and property tax but the names aren’t on the list. It must have been a typo, Madam Mayor Paz. Could you ensure that those names are added onto the list in next week’s publication, please…If Da Noh Soh!

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More please…

The editor of the Belize Times asked me to convey his most sincere thanks to the Guardian newspaper for their repeated mention of him in Thursday’s issue. You all know that damned fellow always hard up for cash, right? Well it seems that he has made a deal with the powers that be in the PUP that whenever the Guardian mentions him in a negative light, he receives $100 for the, ahem, ahem, hardship (LOL). This week’s edition of the Guardian was good for a solid $800 which translates into a very good weekend for the, how did the Guardian refer to him, idiotic, non-persona underachiever. Well, then I guess you guys should be grateful the chubby dude isn’t an intellectual overachiever cause you all would be broke. Who’s the idiot now? If Da Noh Soh!

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