If Da Noh Soh…

Run for the Hills…

Pack up your meager belongings, throw your womenfolk over your shoulder and run for the hills – the mosquitoes are coming, the mosquitoes are coming! Oh wait, the mosquitoes have been here for a long time, and so has dengue. Even Jules had some serious comic relief at the expense of those nincompoops at the Ministry of Health and the KHMH who’ve just now realized that there is dengue in Belize, and in outbreak proportions. Boss, we’ve known that for months, don’t you all watch the news. Now, only now do these people realize that there is a serious problem with dengue after several deaths have been reported. I guess now the powers that be are goinbg to move into gear and deploy the sprayers and start dealing with the problem. Oh how secure that makes us feel, about 4 months after the fact. Bunch of idiots! We’ve done a little discreet digging to discover how the guys at the MoH and KHMH realized that there was dengue in Belize, and here’s what we found out. Remember the story we ran last week about the guy from Concepcion who was taken to the hospital in Corozal with dengue and they couldn’t treat him because they had no equipment? Well it appears that he is related to the Minister’s main squeeze (his wife, not the other one). So we figure his wife found out about it at the family dinner table this Sunday and promptly went home and told Naco about it. Wanting to impress or appease her, he immediately called the Ministry and directed them to check out the dengue thing and there you have it – a press conference announcing a dengue outbreak. Thanks guys…thanks for nothing, that is…If Da Noh Soh!

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Do we need them?

As I understand it, the UDP City Council has issued a proclamation that it is the responsibility of citizens to keep the street area in front of their houses spic and span. Okay then. Just this morning the confused fellow and the idiot with the hundred year old face and 20 year old hair were on WAVE’s morning show and I had the great misfortune to tune in. A couple residents called in right off the bat, one of them complaining about the garbage on the streets and the overgrown vacant lots in his area. Then a 73 year old lady called in complaining about overgrown vacant lots and garbage all over the place. This lady says she is just recovering from her second bout of dengue in recent months. So you say – CitCo to the rescue? Hell no. Joe and Fonso told the elderly lady that she would have to deal with the problem herself cause age notwithstanding, she sure did sound strong over the radio. What the hell? So CitCo doesn’t clean in front of houses, they don’t clean vacant lots, they don’t pick up garbage, they sure as hell don’t maintain parks and playgrounds and they don’t fix streets and they don’t clear drains and they don’t do social programs…so what exactly does the City Council do? I’ll give a prize to the first person with the answer to this dilemma…If Da Noh Soh!

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Unjust Stupidity Act…

A great philosopher called Forrest Gump once said – Stupid Is as Stupid Does! I can’t say for certain sure, but all indications are that he was talking about Deputy Mayor Philloughby. Damn, that boy deserves an award for stupidity if anybody ever did. But yeah, grudgingly, grudgingly I’ve got to recommend him for an award for skin like a damned rhinoceros. It can’t be easy walking on the street and having people point and you and snicker. Hell, it can’t be easy being the brunt of the media’s jokes (unless he believes that Philloughby is an affectionate and complimentary moniker, that is). So yeah buddy, you got my vote for the most doggedly stupid person of the year. And looking out for you as I am, I’ll share a bit of news with you. I hear that just like the PM pushed through the managing Mayor Moya Bill, he’s planning to table an Unjust Stupidity ACT. He’s out to get you buddy, but no worries, I gat yu back…If Da Noh Soh!

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Hold the magic…

Word out of the Office of the Prime Minister is that the bald magician has directed his CEO to seek out and confiscate all copies of recordings made at the UDP Convention recently. You know the one where he grinned from ear to ear like a loon, thrust his hands in the air like some demented sorcerer and lisped – you see, we told you the magic is still here. We are told that after the pain meds wore off, the dark reality intruded and friends told him what he had said while under the influence of induced euphoria, baldy went ballistic and all hell broke loose. I’d give all of my riches and half of my good looks for baldy to walk through certain neighbourhoods in Belize City telling residents that the situation they are living in is magical…If Da Noh Soh!

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Hungry Belly…

The very rich Chief Executive Officer in the Ministry of Tourism, Mike Singh, did an interview on television last night which made me want to jump into the screen and leap up and down on his head screaming ‘hungry belly, hungry belly…’ Okay, I just had to get that out there. With that out of the way let me just say that I find Mr. Singh’s comments last night extremely offensive and insulting to poor Belizeans who are struggling to make ends meet. The rich, privileged UDP crony smirked when he said that the small tour operators and tour guides don’t really have a legitimate gripe, it’s just hungry belly syndrome (excuse me while I jump up and down on his head again). Boss, you’ve got your hands in so many pies that you’ll never know what it feels to be hungry, so you can’t insult poor Belizeans like that. You sit there in you’re air-conditioned office with a secretary bringing you coffee and sugar cookies while poor Belizean tour guides work countless hours in the hot sun trying to make a day’s wage. You drive your air-conditioned luxury vehicle which those poor Belize tour guides have paid for to your fancy home where you are pampered. Boss, you know nothing about hungry belly. If the bellies of those Belizean tour guides are empty, it is because of the policies of the government which has given both you and your brother cushy, high-paying jobs. Never before have things been so hard in Belize, but that’s a concept you and your brother, both making easily more than $100,000 a year could never grasp. Maybe you should think about helping these people to fill their bellies (what you’re getting paid for actually) and stop concentrating on filling your belly and your pocket…If Da Noh Soh!

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Just asking…

I don’t mean to get ‘anyBadi’ upset, but word out of the extreme western district is that the family of a certain Pizza Hut clerk turned Ambassador has been throwing about quite a hefty amount of cash lately. In fact, a source tells us that a couple houses in Benque have been purchased, spot cash. Wow, it must pay to be an ambassador under the UDP. Sources also tell us that lately there has been a large amount of Chinese nationals seen in Benque (mind you, we’re not stating that they came by way of Cuba through a Belizean visa, wink wink) and it was soon after these Chinese nations were spotted that the fortunes of ‘someBadi’ seemed to expand exponentially. Hmmm, wasn’t there an ambassador who was recalled after a planeload of Chinese nationals arrived in Belize from Cuba without proper documents? Oh well, we’ll be sure to keep you posted just in case ‘someBadi’s’ doing something shady…If Da Noh Soh!

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