Friday, August 18, 2017

If Dah Noh Soh

Friday, April 14, 2017, 17:17
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Go figure… Government is all happy and stuff cause they say their CEO ride thing raised much more than the $50,000 that was projected. Woohoo…$70,000 to fight cancer in Belize. And there’s this bozo-looking Patrick posing off on his bike like he’s done wonders. But check this out. Just days ago the same fool-fool fellow decided to take ONE MILLION dollars and use it to punish the BNTU for proving that he is a balls-less wonder. Can you say ONE MILLION? So here we are, boasting about $70,000 for Cancer, and using ONE MILLION for a one-time handout. There’s something very wrong with that picture…very wrong. If I weren’t such a jovial, Christian type fellow I’d tell Patrick exactly what he can do with his million dollars.   Please don’t go… There are very, very credible reports that a majority of senior Ministers in Cabinet have approached Dean Oliver begging him to stay. Seems like the ailing leader was planning to stumble off into that goodnight by mid-2017, and the plan was that the half-man, half boy would be anointed as leader of the UDP and Prime Minister. But that’s not going exactly as Dean O envisioned it. We know that he’s been looking at other people in the UDP to take over. Hell, he was even reportedly looking at Mark Espat, his new golden boy. This bloated scribe understands that the idea of the PUP’s Judas becoming the UDP’s saviour didn’t go over well with Party insiders so that idea was quickly scrapped. There’s no word tonight if the tired old man has decided to hang on a little longer, at least till elections next year, but whatever the case, it’s not looking good for the political runt.   It gets worse… My friend tells me I shouldn’t hate, because hate is too strong. She’ll scold me, but I hate child molesters and child predators. They deserve a special place in hell. I also hate men who beat up on women. They piss me off. You know, to the point where I’d want to tie them up on a fire ants and put honey on their testicles. That sort of hate. Anyway so through no fault of my own I managed to get my hands on a document which speaks very ill of our Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Education. This is the man who stands on podiums at schools and tells children they should be just like him. He is also a man who beats women, and abuses women. Trust me when I say that this is not a man I would want as a leader of this country. I felt dirty after reading that document. Real. I won’t get into the unpleasant stuff before Easter. But I will get into it. Stay tuned.   Asst. Commissioner of Vehicles… As we go to press, there is reliable information suggesting that the Commissioner of Police, Allen Whylie, is actively seeking to have the transfer of Asst. Commissioner Chester Williams expedited. Despite being the Southside’s most effective commander to date, Williams, who it appears has become a threat to the ComPol’s peace of mind and ego, was to be transferred to the prosecution branch of the Police. Then the ComPol apparently decided that would still give Williams’ too much visibility and media time, so he then assigned Williams to the Professional Standards Branch, effective July 1. But like divine intervention, in quick succession cops started coming under scrutiny for idiotic, dangerous and illegal behaviour, which would have meant that Chester would still have more than his share of the limelight. That precipitated another quick decision from the ComPol who is not exactly known for quick thinking. Last this overweight scribe was informed, Williams is now destined for the Mechanic Section of the Police Department, where he will apparently serve as assistant to Chris Noble. Noble was placed in charge of vehicles after he and the Commissioner fell out some time ago.   Gangstas Sales Tax… Can you imagine that this government, the same one which just found $1M for a political handout, would actively cheat persons and organizations who make payments of GST to the relevant department? Not so hard to imagine right? Leaked internal documents seem to suggest that senior officials including the Commissioner of GST were assessing persons more than they should have been paying. Now that’s serious business, shady business, even maybe criminal business. But here’s the multimillion dollar question. Was the Commissioner of GST following instructions from the Minister or Ministry of Finance so that GOB could shake down businesses to increase the flood of money into its coffers? The Chamber has come out swinging because the truth is that shit is tough in this country, maybe not for the ministers or their families or cronies, but for most everybody else. Let’s see what comes out of this one.
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