A couple of the morning shows are good barometers of the mood of the people living the reality of modern day Belize. It’s not exactly about what the hosts are saying but about the cries of the callers – the frustration, the anger, the sense of betrayal. This morning I listened to one of the hosts on Love FM and was a little surprised to detect palpable disgust in his voice as the discussion zeroed in on the Belize City Council. I imagine that it would be hard to stay objective when the suffering of the people is heard each and every day, when their calls for help are ignored each and every day. This morning the portion of the show I caught was dealing with the cemetery mostly – apparently there are only 9 or so spaces left at Lord Ridge and the City Council is only now trying to find an alternative solution. Let’s see – nine spaces at the current rate of murders in Belize works out to about 3 or 4 days. So in a few days we won’t have anywhere to bury our dead and there’s no option in sight. And then a caller went off about a bridge in North Creek which had fallen into the creek. He was furious because the residents had reported the matter time and again without any response from the Council or the Area Representative. But what’s new.

As a writer who is passionate about pointing out the many faults and inadequacies of the stupid people running this country, I should be in hog heaven. But I’m not. I’m frustrated and angry because I am a Belizean first and I look around and see what is happening to my country. Seriously, there is absolutely nothing to smile about. But maybe I should clarify – there is nothing for the common Belizean to smile about; nothing for the Belizean whose last name isn’t Barrow to smile about; nothing for the Belizean who isn’t a UDP Minister to smile about; nothing for the Belizean without special relation to UDP Ministers to smile about. I clarified simply because I would imagine there is plenty for the ex-wife of the Prime Minister to smile about (hell, if I received a voucher for more than half a million dollars in one day I’d be grinning like a loon). I would imagine that there is plenty for the daughter and son of the Prime Minister to smile about, for they have been richly blessed through their association to daddy. And there are quite a few UDPs who have plenty to smile about – that retarded (sorry, Kim) grimace on Gapi’s face is actually a smile. My friend Boots is smiling pretty right now. Mr. Castro and his wife are smiling. Mr. Montero in Cayo is smiling. The boy Mr. Barrow created in his image (though with more hair) is smiling.

But what about the rest of us…those without the special privileges and perks of UDPness?

I look around and there is so much wrong with this country that it is ludicrous. And no, it isn’t the fault of the previous administration, Mr. Barrow. That one has gotten old. Look at the crime situation and the already defunct Operation Restore Belize. It’s not the previous administration’s fault that Mr. Barrow has not a clue how to deal with the crime situation. His brilliant solution was to place his UDP Chairman Doug Singh at the helm and where exactly has that gotten us. Singh’s nationally proclaimed fixations have made policemen wary, confused and angry. His public taunts of senior officers have made them laughing stocks at a time when they should be commanding respect. He has done absolutely nothing to curb the escalating crime and violence. The blame for that lies squarely on your shoulders, Mr. Barrow!

There is a serious problem with our 911 system, a system which is a lifeline for our citizens in need. The officer in charge has revealed that their equipment is antiquated and they have no facilities to record calls. They are struggling to get proper training for the persons manning the phones. Our 911 system is inadequate. Mr. Barrow, how difficult would it be to upgrade the 911 system to adequate, if not international, standards? How difficult would it be to provide proper training for staff manning the phones? Your administration owns BTL, does it not? Perhaps you could advise your Minister to tone down his obsession with sweaty, spandex clad policemen flexing their biceps and deal with upgrading the 911 system and ensuring that it is staffed by qualified, professional personnel 24 hours. Which one would save more lives, Mr. Barrow…a new gym or a revised, updated 911 system?

And then there’s the dengue situation and negligent hospital situation and the garbage situation and the UDP City Council situation and the Chief Justice situation and the cemetery situation and the economic situation and the unemployment situation and the faltering tourism situation and the high cost of living situation and the poverty situation and the corruption situation and the unjust enrichment situation and the oil situation and the messed up roads situation…I could go on and on but I’m sure you get the picture. There’s nothing to smile about in Belize these days and nothing seems to change. But there’s a UDP ad out right now glorifying Dean Barrow with the caption ‘Inspiring the Future.’ Boss, we need help RIGHT NOW. You’re destroying the present…how the hell aren’t you ashamed to claim to inspire the future. You’re a sick man!

Cynical and cold-hearted fool that I admit to being, the picture of 8 year old Marquis Mahler on the front page of Tuesday’s Amandala shook me up. I guess that particular photo of the child so full of life and mischief and joy must have been chosen for effect, and it worked. Imagine that all he was, all he could have been was snuffed out for absolutely no good reason by a monster that stood over him and shot him seven times. The horror of it is gut-wrenching. I know that I would not be able to live under the burden of that grief if such a tragedy was visited upon me. For the family right now, I can imagine that no words have been created which will give some small measure of comfort. The community in which he lived has been left in shock; the nation is sickened and angry.

But that is the reality of life on Belize’s streets today. After the horror at this heinous crime comes the realization that every young man who lies bleeding on the street, riddled by bullets in a seemingly unending war, is somebody’s son, somebody’s father, somebody’s brother, somebody’s provider. The callous murder of this innocent child hits hard, but just two weeks ago, a teenage girl was shot in the head at close range, another victim of the gang war. Just two weeks ago, a mother had to identify the decomposed remains of her teenage daughter who had been dumped like garbage on the side of the road. Not so long ago, a little girl was the innocent victim of a ride-by shooting and was paralyzed. The prognosis for a full recovery is grim. There are so many stories of the casualties of a war which has taken over our streets; so many stories of the victims whose lives were snuffed out by the epidemic of violence which is sweeping our nation.

Listen, we are at the point where the major cruise company coming to our shores is reportedly considering bypassing Belize as a destination. Foreign countries which funnel tourists into our country are issuing advisories warning their nationals that visiting the ‘jewel’ is a risky proposition. We have been named the murder capital of the world. And that’s only the effect on the tourism dollar. On the home front residents in the city have been paralyzed by fear. Business owners open stores knowing they are taking their lives and the lives of their employees. We are not safe on the streets. We are not safe in our homes – just ask the parents of 8 year old Marquis Mahler who was playing contentedly in his yard when death was brought to him.

I can be pretty damned hateful when I choose, but I cannot even begin to express my disbelief and anger and frustration at the new Minister of Police Doug Singh. On the very same newscast which carried the story of 8 year old Marquis Mahler, there was a comment from Mr. Singh. But it wasn’t about the ruthless, cold shooting of the young boy or the murder of a man just seconds before. Nope, our Minister of Police didn’t have a thing to say about that. Guess he was just too busy or distracted to pay that little thing called murder any attention. See, our Minister of Police was wholly focused on challenging what he calls big-bellied Policemen to a two mile run, 75 pushups and 25 chin-ups. He said absolutely nothing about Marquis Mahler, but a lot about some stupid competition between him and a bunch of sweaty, pot-bellied Policemen. This is no laughing matter.

The fact is that I’ve heard the comments about Singh’s lifestyle; I’ve seen the cartoons depicting him in outlandish gear. Hell, I’ve probably been responsible for a few of those comments and cartoons myself. The truth of the matter is that Doug Singh’s behavior is his own business, but when that behavior appears to be tainting or directing his actions in office, that’s a whole other can of beans. When Mr. Singh’s first priority and ‘numero uno’ mission in crime-fighting seems to be opening a gym where policemen can go work out, I think there’s something seriously wrong with that. When Mr. Singh ignores the blood on the streets in favour of the sweat running down Policemen’s backs as they run two miles, do 75 pushups and 25 chin ups, I think there is something seriously wrong with that. I am flabbergasted at the focus of this gentleman who was supposed to provide the answers to the ever escalating crime wave.

I am furious at the appearance that Mr. Singh is more concerned with childish competitions and one-upmanship and ‘funny’ games than in fighting crime where it exists. If Mr. Singh persists in what seems to be a very queer course of action in his dealings with the Police Department, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that crime and violence will not only continue unabated but will escalate and grow and intensify until our nation will be just a dark shadow of its once vibrant self. Singh is obviously not the man for the job. The sad thing is that while all of us can understand that right off, Mr. Barrow usually takes a couple years to get the message. By then it might be too late.

Slum (n.) A heavily populated urban area characterized by substandard housing and squalor.

Late last week I had the great misfortune of watching what turned out to be the stupidest movie I have ever seen in my life, called Mega-Piranha. This movie was so bad that if Siskel and Ebert were still around they would not only have given it a ‘thumbs down,’ they would have amputated their hands at the wrist in despair. It was that bad. I guess I only watched it because it was filmed in Belize, and sexist pig that I am I’ll admit that the first 30 seconds of the movie (featuring a beautiful young Belizean woman in scanty bikini) was inspiring, but the rest was sheer, unadulterated, unapologetic garbage.

And since we’re on the subject of garbage, could somebody please vandalize that ridiculous billboard on the Northern Highway…the one that features Zenaida Moya smiling like a dummy with arms extended; the one that says Welcome to Belize City. Thank the good Lord it doesn’t say Welcome to ‘beautiful’ Belize City – even Zenaida isn’t that stupid or brazen. But what an amazing journey it must be for visitors to our shores for the first time…leaving the airport, turning on to the pockmarked and rutted Northern Highway, passing mile 7 which has been under repair for almost a year, driving past that beautiful, bright, colorful billboard and then entering the slums of Belize City. Oh joy and glory!

See, I can’t help but feel that the UDP City Council is getting a free pass. Yes, it absolutely IS a UDP City Council and a UDP Mayor who were placed there to take care of the old capital. Old balls-less (so Zenaida insists) baldy wants to wash his hands of that little thing, but not so fast, buddy. For all the signs of life coming from the Mayor’s office, we might as well dance around chanting ‘ding, dong the witch is dead.’ Hell, from the looks of things at the Council it wouldn’t be too far off to extend the chorus to ‘ding, dong, everybody who swore to work their asses off for the people are dead too.’ Really! So Mr. Barrow has thrown in the towel and the people of Belize have thrown in the towel. Everybody expects NOTHING from the Council and that is just what they get – NOTHING!

At this point you might be wondering about the connection between a stupid movie, a stupid and useless Mayor and a city covered in filth. Well, the thing is that while Mega-Piranha was filmed in Belize City, it was set in Venezuela…a garbage infested, dirty, squalid slum of Venezuela, to be exact. Anybody watching the movie would immediately recognize a lot of main streets in the old capital…main streets! You understand? Our main streets in Belize City were used to simulate a slum in Venezuela and it worked. It was a perfect match. The cameras rolled and voila…garbage everywhere, poverty everywhere, dirt everywhere, instant slum. When the producers saw Belize City they must have been ecstatic…no need to create a slum, we’ve got one right here, boys.

Somebody just called and told me that it is official – Mayor Zenaida Moya has been kicked out of the United Democratic Party. So what? She came in under the UDP and she messed up under the UDP and wrecked the city under the UDP and mismanaged funds under the UDP and misappropriated funds under the UDP. SO SHE’S A DAMNED UDP…END OF STORY! She was Dean Barrow’s baby girl since the beginning. Everything she did, she did while she was under Dean Barrow’s protection. Dean Barrow was aware then and is aware now of everything that Zenaida Moya did in City Hall. His silence and inaction provided the Mayor with all the approval she needed to continue with her nonsense in City Hall. This thing is Dean Barrow’s fault. He caused this mess. And now he thinks his crap smells like roses because he’s had a ‘Zen-enema!’ Hell no, Dean, that doesn’t work like that.

UDP Chairman Doug Singh (who’s fodder for another story altogether) says - no worries, we can’t take her out of City Hall but we’ll ask the other real UDP Councilors to work along with her for the betterment of the city. Boss, you need lashing. This city hasn’t seen better since the UDP took over City Hall way back in 2006. It didn’t see better when Mayor Moya was at the top of her game. It didn’t see better when there was a UDP municipal administration and a UDP Central Government. It didn’t see better when Dean Barrow still thought that the sun rose and set on his golden girl. How the hell can you expect us to believe that we will see better now? There ain’t no way, you idiot.

We Belizeans have been silent on this issue too long. We need to get our asses over to City Hall and remind the Mayor of one of her favourite phrases back when she was still a sweaty, disheveled ‘pretending to be one of us’ wannabe politician – RESIGN OR BE REMOVED!

I’ve been told that I have an unhealthy fixation on Mr. Barrow and the thought was enough to give me a real ‘ugh’ moment. I mean, it’s true that I harbor a very healthy dislike for the fellow whom I’ve never exchanged more than two words with, by the way. I dislike his arrogance which is so patently manifested in everything he does. I dislike his ‘fakeness’ – his practiced gestures and rehearsed poses and dramatic pauses whenever in the public forum. I dislike his nonchalance and disregard for the reality of life on the streets; I dislike his penchant for belittling persons he feels are below his social and intellectual class. I absolutely cannot stand his love for huge words and lofty expressions which look absolutely stunning on paper but mean nothing out here. I resent the bombastic Barrow who does whatever the hell he wants and doesn’t give a damn about anyone else. I am offended by this man’s lies, followed shortly after by periods of selective amnesia and/or condescension when his lies are queried. I loathe the supercilious leader whose transparent nepotism and ‘special interest love’ has translated into wealth and bounty for a few while the majority starve.

Should I go on, because I can? I haven’t even really touched on his failings as the leader of the nation yet. Hell, maybe I do have an unhealthy fixation. But anyway, I was in a discussion this weekend about love and bonds which cannot be broken and for some strange reason Dean and Lois entered the conversation (how’s that for an unhealthy fixation?). My friend on the barstool next to me remarked that he had never met Lois, but from all the hype he had expected her to be someone of superior intellect and moral persuasion, a paragon of legal virtue and a warrior for the rights of the common man and woman (well Dean said so, didn’t he). So my friend says, in between sips, that he managed to catch Lois in action in the past month or so and he was shocked by how far removed perception was from the reality. She came across as a little demented, said my friend, a little shell-shocked, somewhat confused and very arrogant.

Ah my friend, you are right, said I. In fact, I myself had held a high opinion of the lady based purely on the hype, and was sadly disillusioned. Engrossed in thoughts of hype, perception and reality, perhaps it should come as no surprise to readers that my thoughts turned to our leader, Dean Oliver. That gentleman is also, I believe, a victim of the hype. Or more accurately, I should say that we Belizeans are victims of his hype. Spellbound by the halo around his head and the golden aura encircling this near deity, we expected a giant among men, a leader without equal, a black bald-headed Moses to part the red seas and lead his followers to the promised land and so on and so forth…! Damn those UDP spin-masters were good. But yeah, so instead of all that, we got Dean…just Dean! We sure lost out in that bargain.

We got Dean, who campaigned on an anti-corruption platform and vowed to smite down the wrongdoers with his rod of correction (enter snicker or chuckle or smirk here). Instead, Dean has presided over the most corrupt administration in our nation’s political history. The would-be political giant campaigned on a platform to lower the cost of living NO MATTA WHAT. Instead, the little man we ended up with has led us into an economic recession. The cost of everything has gone up. Fuel went down for a couple weeks before shooting straight up. Dean just conveniently forgot his promise to keep fuel to $7 even if he had to lower government’s take. Before elections we were promised a hero who would work tirelessly to better the lives of ALL Belizeans. Instead we got a negligent fool who has worked tirelessly to enrich members of his family and ensure that they eat fillet mignon and prime ribs every day while the rest of us eat condensed milk and pack bread. Hell, who can even afford condensed milk these days? Almost half of the nation lies below the poverty line, but you won’t find Mr. Barrow’s family members in that category…oh no!

So we wanted a giant and we got a giant ego with a little man attached. Mistakes do happen, I told my friend as we ended the maudlin conversation and slid limply off our barstools. But our Belizean people do not forget and they will not forgive the transgressions of the little man with the big head and bigger ego. We will not forget…

“Come with me and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination…We’ll begin with a spin traveling in the world of my creation.” – Pure Imagination Lyrics

I’ve always liked that movie – the Gene Wilder version of the 1970s much more than the more recent Johnny Depp remake. I put it into the Forrest Gump and Shawshank Redemption category…movies that you can watch over and over again and still find amazing. But I hadn’t thought about Mr. Wonka and his factory for years till this morning listening to Love FM’s morning show while driving down to the city. The hosts were lamenting the state of the country, the many issues facing us as a people. Oh God, they said, look at the shootings and murders and little kids getting killed by monsters out there. Things are really bad, they said, our kids are graduating and there are no jobs out there for them. Our city is in a mess, they said, with a dysfunctional City Council. Oh what are we to do? What can we do? But you know what? Not once on today’s show or any other previous show have these hosts made the next obvious link, the next natural connection, the next rational step. IT’S THE GOVERNMENT, STUPID! So many things are going wrong and our nation is falling down around our ears because this government that was voted in to make things better is bogus…end of story!

But these hosts and others from other media houses who are dependent on GOB’s advertising dollar will never take that next step to blurt out the next logical conclusion. See, they are living in Mr. Barrow’s world of pure imagination and taking a spin in a world of his creation.

Yeah I’m pissed. I’m pissed a lot of the time now because things are getting much worse for our Belizean people. NOTHING is better. EVERYTHING is worse. The media played a huge part in bringing down the past administration, more so than they would probably now want to admit. But those same vigilant watchdogs turned bloodhounds that chased whiffs of corruption on the breeze back then are now snoring blissfully in their kennels. Back then if any member of the PUP passed wind the fourth estate rottweilers would be straining at the leash with jaws snapping. Now they just roll over and play dead. It’s a damned travesty.

Listen, things are going wrong, really wrong. I’m not making that up – just look around. Some of us want to play stupid, some want to play along for whatever reason. But the reality is that the responsibility for the way things are rests squarely on the shoulders of that blissfully rich, blissfully ignorant, blissfully selectively blind leader in name only Mr. Barrow.

Let’s take crime, for example. The Jaguar has gone from being an endangered species to now being declared officially extinct. It gives me no pleasure to say – we told you so! None at all! Operation Restore Belize will never work. Never! What that fails, it will give me no pleasure to say I told you so. See, crime can’t be controlled by something Mr. Barrow came up with in his air-conditioned study while sitting in a leather recliner in a red smoking jacket in his mansion in front of the sea. We all knew it would be brilliantly written – Mr. Barrow is book smart if nothing else. But closer analysis of Mr. Barrow’s actions predict in true Nostradamus fashion that any plan originating from that gentleman can be nothing more than a beautifully packaged, carefully crafted, gloriously etched bundle of bulls@#t.

Let’s make this really short and definitely not sweet. Take a look at our DPP. Some people are citing conviction statistics in the last 2 years of about 7%. I think they’re being too nice to her. She’s done nothing to distinguish herself during her term. She’s been consistently accused of being in political pockets, so to speak, and she’s been referred to as the new poster girl for criminals on remand waiting for their day in Court. Oh, and she’s been on extended maternity leave two times in the past two years. Yeah I know it’s not exactly politically correct to mention that and some people are frowning right now, but the fact is that we are desperately in need of an effective DPP and an efficient DPP’s office. This one ain’t it.

Mr. Barrow spoke at length about the caliber of man who would be needed as the new Attorney-General. He would need to be a pit-bull, said our leader…a dynamic, energetic, active legal wunderkind who would spare no time or effort in this war facing us. And then he gave us UDP crony B.Q. Pitts. Come no man! Mr. Pitts has no experience in the legal area in which an AG must be expert. Friends of Mr. Pitts have claimed that he is in the twilight of his years…others have said that he is half-senile and about ready to be put out to pasture. Really now Mr. Barrow!

And then there’s our new Minister of Police. Mr. Barrow removed the old minister because he was weak, ineffectual and could not earn the respect of his officers. He also had a bad habit which I am certain did not gain him any respect from the rank and file in the Police Department. But Mr. Barrow replaced him with a man who has no qualifications for the job, nothing to bring to the table in the area of law enforcement and who also is said to have a habit which will not earn him the respect of the rank and file of the Police Department.

This is all crazy. The things that Mr. Barrow does and gets away with boggle the mind, really. Some of us can continue to tour Willy Wonka’s Chocolate factory, but the fact of the matter is that we’re living in Belize, Jack. If you look up and see any oompa loompas with bright orange faces coming your way singing a song, you better get the hell out of there in a hurry. They’ll probably be packing 9mms and will more likely jack you than take you for a magical ride on a chocolate stream.

As long as I’ve been in this political game I’ve believed that Mr. Barrow is a man who cannot be trusted. He has done nothing of recent to convince me that I am wrong and much in fact to convince me that maybe my criticism of him hasn’t been harsh enough. I have been an avid subscriber to our Prime Minister’s well-deserved ‘all glitter and no substance’ characterization, but on that front and after a performance last week I am forced to revisit my subscription. Don’t get me wrong – the ‘no substance’ part holds as true as ever. But damned if some of Mr. Barrow’s glitters and flashy sequins haven’t fallen by the wayside!

The consummate actor paid a visit to the Leader of the Opposition last week in what was most certainly a carefully crafted scene in Act 2 of his soap opera entitled – making people think that I am serious about crime. Hell, the fellow even made his way to the offices of the PUP Party Leader, a gesture to demonstrate his humility and largesse and commitment to a bipartisan approach on crime – no room for protocol and prime ministerial arrogance when this crime issue is so big. Ha…what a crock! Realizing that I’m a cynic where Mr. Barrow is concerned I was determined to try my best to give him the benefit of the doubt. That sure didn’t work. Boss, Dean Barrow is not serious about crime. Dean Barrow is not serious about working with any other body or organization to tackle crime. Dean Barrow has no vision or plan when it comes to dealing with the crime situation. And finally, Dean Barrow is still wholly and completely convinced that he can twirl around this huge issue in a gossamer tutu, wave his magic wand and conjure it away with his golden tongue.

Don’t take my cynical word for it because I dislike the Prime Minister immensely and find it hard pressed to say anything good about him. Hours after his meeting with the PUP Leader last week, his UDP rag carried the most stupid headline ever (which is saying a lot). Just hours after he looked into the figurative eyes of the nation and spouted his spiel about bi-partisan cooperation and the like, the Guardian’s headline proved that it was nothing but a game created by a man who used to be known as the Master of the Game but who is now a sad parody of his former self. Follow the leader, my bottom. Any man who would follow Dean Barrow blindly is a fool, and the PUP Leader definitely ain’t no fool!

Look at the facts. After more than two years of trying to convince Belizeans that crime was way down and we were living in a good country, Mr. Barrow finally, finally was forced to admit that crime and violence had risen to crisis proportions. Trust me he didn’t want to admit it. If he could have continued to hoodwink the people he would have. For months Belizeans clamoured for the removal of the Minister of National Security Carlos Perdomo…months. Dean Barrow ignored every cry, every plea, every demand. Long after the evidence was clear that Perdomo was a complete failure, Mr. Barrow couldn’t have given less of a damn. Does this seem like the manner of a man who is serious about dealing with crime?

When it became clear that to continue to play deaf, dumb and blind could mean his own demise, Mr. Barrow pretended to reshuffle his Cabinet. Ain’t nobody stupid enough to believe that what Mr. Barrow did is going to solve anything. In one move he rewarded ministers for non-performance by giving them less work for the same pay. In that same move he expanded his Cabinet which means that we taxpayers will now need to find hundreds of thousands of dollars more to pay two more UDP cronies at a time when we simply don’t have the money. And of course, in that same move he rewarded two UDP cronies with critical jobs for which they possess no qualification. Now does this seem like the actions of a man who is serious about crime?

Let me state this very clearly for those not getting sense. Dean Barrow is playing games. He is not serious about dealing with crime. Yeah we can jump up and shout hurray for any initiative which does anything at all because we haven’t been getting much of anything from this government…any sign of life is welcome. The PUP Leader has a constitutional obligation to offer his support and the support of his Party in resolving any of the critical issues which affect all of us. That doesn’t mean that he’s shouting ‘glory hallelujah’ from the rafters. Far from it! Mr. Barrow needs to come a lot better than this. When Mr. Barrow is serious about crime, hell yeah we’ll be there to lend support. Until then, boss, save your antics for the fools in your camp who scamper at your every word. You won’t find any like that over here.

A friend of mine recommended I listen to a song called ‘beautiful mess’ and give him my reaction. I don’t think he’ll be asking me to do that anymore. See, one line in the song goes something like this – ‘What a beautiful mess this is…it’s like picking up trash in dresses.’ Call me politically fixated or demented, but that line immediately made me think about Dean Barrow and his propensity for honey-coating every jagged, bitter, poisonous pill he shoves down our throats. Trash is still trash is still trash, no matter what fancy ball-gowns Mr. Barrow puts on when he dabbles in that trash. Okay, I know it’s not the reaction my friend had in mind, but he asked, didn’t he? Anyway, the image of Mr. Barrow in a fancy dress didn’t make for a pleasant night’s rest, so I decided to do some writing about another event featuring fancy dresses…

I’ve heard that proms for different high schools are happening right around this time. I couldn’t say for sure because I haven’t bought into the prom thing for a while now. Guess you can call me an old geezer, but I find it actually appalling how ridiculous and just plain stupid this whole passing out rite has become. Couples arriving in carriages or carried in by muscle-bound attendants or serenaded by mariachis or walking the red carpet strewn with rose petals. Hell, if I’m not mistaken, one couple actually came in a helicopter a couple years ago. Nothing but a damn ‘papisho’ if you ask me (or even if you don’t ask me)! In my day way, way way back when, the only thing on our minds was how long we had to stay under the watchful eyes of the chaperones before heading out to undertake other pursuits, whatever they may have been. I wouldn’t have believed that things would have changed so much, but I guess they have.

For the past years, prom has become a circus competition with everyone fighting to win the title of biggest clown. Sorry if this offends, and I’m sure it will, but I’m really pissed off about how much we have allowed a time-honored tradition to become a gaudy mockery. Now it’s all about who can make the most dramatic entrance and who can wow the crowd and solicit the loudest gasps and oohs and aahhhs. Hundreds of Belizeans apparently have nothing better to do than stand for hours wherever the prom is being held, and the paparazzi is no damned better, making the contestants in the big show feel like they’re going something great, something special…that this is something good.

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and it left me stunned. His daughter was going to prom and just the hair and nails and makeup thing was costing something like $400. I was told by another friend that the in thing now is not to buy dresses in stores but to get them made so that nobody will have the same dress. She told me that dresses can cost more than $1000 each, depending on the design. Wow. And that’s not even counting the grand entrance. If you want to outdo your friends who themselves are sure to come up with some spectacular fireworks, some big bucks will be shelled out to ensure that you receive your necessary ovation at the gauntlet. It’s a damned expensive affair, people.

I don’t mean to bash anyone, though it may come across that way. I’m just thinking about the pressure which is being put on those who really do not have the money to put it all together. Yeah, there are those who can shell out the bucks for a helicopter entrance or a fancy speedboat ride up to the seawall in front of the venue. There are those who have no problem coming up with three or four or five or ten thousand dollars to make sure that the little prince or princess has a splendid night. Bully for them. But what about those who can’t? What I’m saying is that all the hype around prom which has pushed the event out of the expense stratosphere is unfair to those students whose parents can’t afford entrance by carriage at midnight in Cinderella style, with driver and footmen. Can’t blame the students for wanting to be like their friends and wanting to be part of the hype, and can’t blame the parents for wanting to give their kids the world. But it’s just not fair. It leads to people spending their last dollar on a prom night to remember and then eating bread and condensed milk by candlelight because they can’t buy food and have no money to pay the utility company. That crap happens…believe it.

What if we just tone it down a bit when it comes to prom? Yeah, it’s a rite of passage and an important one, but what if we remember that it’s a rite of passage and not a night at the circus with the clowns parading around the ring? What if we bring the respect back into prom and take out the papisho? Prom isn’t a bad thing…it isn’t. We’ve just made it into a ridiculous thing which is ridiculously and prohibitively expensive. Let’s revisit this thing, people, cause prom shouldn’t be about those fortunate few who can afford the frippery and foppery…it’s about our kids, all of them, taking that giant step into adulthood. Let’s give it the respect it deserves and see what happens.

Everybody in the UDP seems either dumbfounded as to a solution for the City Hall crisis or content to pretend that it doesn’t exist. Mr. Barrow falls firmly into the second category and seems to believe that if he gives Mayor Moya a wide berth he won’t be tainted with the stink. But I get the feeling that the glimmer man won’t be able to feign complete and utter moral distance for too much longer. This morning I listened to one of the talk show hosts who seems most hard pressed to criticize the UDP refer to the mess at City Hall with distaste and even disgust, and that’s saying something. He seemed unwilling to make any connection between the UDP and City Hall, but I believe that the rest of the country won’t be that tolerant or willing to grant Mr. Barrow the distance he desires. See, this scourge that has been visited upon us, so to speak, was once Mr. Barrow’s golden girl, his protégée, his political wunderkind, his ‘gift’ to the Belizean people.

I’ve watched Mr. Barrow keenly every time he deigns to speak on any topic for any length of time. I don’t listen so much to what he says because that to me is nothing more than pretty little bits of rubbish presented by a master orator with the gift of gab. But I study his demeanor, and I believe that the gentleman’s veneer of respectability and integrity and honor and decency is wearing pretty thin. His ‘you can trust me’ confidence is shot to pieces. His ‘I have things under control’ façade is becoming a joke. A couple days ago Mr. Barrow told Jules in an interview – well you know me, Jules, I stay far away from any hint or whiff of impropriety. And in my mind’s ear I could hear a collective sigh of disbelief and distrust and even frustration that Mr. Barrow is still ‘facey’ enough to pass that old tired spiel by us.

But yeah, back to City Hall. Zenaida Moya is Mr. Barrow’s baby, no matter how much she hurt his feelings by challenging his manhood or lack thereof. He, our learned leader, is to blame for every cent that has gone missing from City Hall. He is to blame for every single bloated contract, every sweetheart deal, the mismanagement of funds, misappropriation of funds and under-depositing…you name it. Mr. Barrow is to blame for every overgrown park and every broken and rutted street and every clogged drain and every pile of stinking, rotting garbage which covers the city. He is to blame for workers not receiving their salaries, for every crisis and every scam and scandal in City Hall which pops up with stunning regularity. He is to blame for City Hall being bankrupt and unable to provide any services to Belizeans. You get my point.

See, Mr. Barrow had the opportunity to put his foot down way back at the very beginning when evidence started to surface implicating the Mayor is some very serious financial ‘situations.’ As the leader of the UDP and Zenaida Moya’s political boss, Mr. Barrow should have dealt with her a long time ago. As the leader of the nation, Mr. Barrow had a responsibility to intercede in the affairs of City Hall to ensure that taxpayer monies was being spent properly and that Belizeans were getting the representation for which they voted. Way back then, when Mr. Barrow should have done the right thing, he did nothing and our people have paid and are still paying the price for his reticence.

Like a talk show host said just this morning…the situation at City Hall has passed from the realm of the ridiculous into the arena of the sublime. The Mayor is apparently not a UDP anymore since she has been kicked out and three of the most senior managers at City Hall have resigned claiming that the situation there is untenable. But even now Mr. Barrow has said nothing. I fully expect that the people will say something sooner rather than later though.

Mr. Torres called in to one of the talk shows with a good idea this morning. He said that Operation Jaguar needs to be deployed into City Hall to root out the corruption and crime. Hell, if it works I’m all for it, Mr. T.

Most days people in the political arena who don’t like me would say I’m a complete a$$hole. Most days I’d tend to say that’s pretty damned accurate. I try to tell it exactly like I feel it is and I’ve made me some serious enemies very close by. The thing is that politics has gotten to a point where it’s difficult to tell friends from enemies. In what has become a cloak and dagger facsimile of scenarios played out in old Cold War thrillers, it is difficult to say who has your back or who wants to stand at your back to slit your throat. I guess the point I’m making is that most days I’m so disgusted by the games being played that I just want to holster the old pen (or close the laptop) and call it quits. Then I remember that little thing called a paycheck and those big things called bills and those other little things called hard times and I soldier gamely on, so to speak. But yeah, these are nasty times in the great old Party, full of treacherous pitfalls and deadly vipers and sinister plots. What a disservice we are doing to those many thousands who still believe in us and still look to us to take over Belmopan whenever the call comes.

Anyway, with that said let me look to another thing that keeps me in the game, at least until my call comes. I was speaking to a friend over the weekend and he was telling me that he and his wife had to make a conscious decision to do away with the traditional gestures on special occasions; things like bouquets on Mother’s Day and birthdays. He claimed that it just didn’t make sense to spend $100 plus on flowers which would last a day or two before withering away. In these times, that money could be used in a hundred more meaningful ways. Granted, this isn’t a heartbreaking story of poverty like so many untold here in real life Belize, but it sends the picture that ‘haad times’ are not just restricted to the poverty stricken. If you still don’t want to lay the blame squarely at the feet of this Barrow administration fine. Instead let me say that under this Barrow administration, making ends meet is more difficult than it has been at any other time in recent or not so recent memory.

My friend and I talked also about the very real poverty of children going to school hungry because there is no money for food. Many of those children go through a full day of school without a bite to eat before heading to the nearest congested business areas to beg a dollar or two before heading home. That happens! So many of our children do not even make it into the classrooms because they are forced to hit the streets to beg so that they can eat and live! How many families are living in ramshackle huts without utilities and proper sanitation – children too hungry and desperate to study by candlelight while rats and roaches scurry across the warped, gapped wooden floors of their shelter? The Minister of Education has a speech which he loves to give whenever he is granted a photo opportunity and sound bite for the evening news. He exhorts our children to be all that they can be and reach for the highest stars and let nothing hold them back. Boss, how can our children reach for the stars when your government has them living in the deepest depths of abject poverty with not a hint of light on the horizon? Seriously!

And we talked about the royal backsides of our UDP ministers, cronies and political appointees. For a country admittedly struggling economically (43% of Belizeans live below the poverty line) why is it that our Ministers must drive the very latest and most luxurious SUVs? Why is it that millions are spent on fancy vehicles for ministers when for two years our government has not been able to find a lousy $4million to put a permanent bridge over the Kendall crossing? Our Deputy Prime Minister received a brand new luxury Montero when he got into office, and now he sports a brand new luxurious top of the line Lexus SUV. Why? Our Minister of Health was given a Land Cruiser with heated seats which cost about $160,000. Why? And the list goes on and on. Mr. Barrow spends so much on assuring the warmth and comfort of the royal backsides of he and his crew while so many Belizeans lie on cold floors with no idea of what the next day will bring. This is the reality of the lot we chose in February of 2008. And the thing is – Mr. Barrow still has not come before us to say if or when there will be a lessening of the suffering.

Our people need us to stand for them because the UDP does not stand for the people. We need to stop this foolishness. All of us! There are too many games being played, too much ego in the equation, too many personal petty agendas. I am by turns frustrated, confused, angry, disenchanted and disgusted. I can only imagine how many of our supporters out there feel.

Is that the squealing of pigs in the distance? Hahahaha!  I’ve been told it is, since I deliberately haven’t picked up a copy of the Perspective. If I did, I would be forced to play the pious Christian and say – I forgive you all, not because you know not what you do but because you’ve got the ‘open mouth insert bubby’ thing going and life haad out ya! I didn’t feel in a very forgiving frame of mind on Friday, hence the reason (thanks Mayor Moya) no Perspective. But I meant what I wrote last week – this is not about those superb writers (insert snicker here) from the Perspective. And truth be told, I feel a little funny responding to people who don’t have the balls to put their names to what they write. Sad that the one who does have the balls to put her name to her article doesn’t have the mental capacity to match, but hey, you can’t win them all.

Anyway, many years ago in my writing I was accused of having no sacred cows. Remembering that got me to wondering why I’ve been pussyfooting around the issue here instead of getting to the point. Sure as hell there is much more at stake now than when I was writing back then. Anyway, it’s very simple so let me break it down.

In 1998, in 2003 and in 2008 my energies were focused to returning the PUP to power under the leadership of Mr. Musa. Towards the end I wasn’t happy with a lot of the things being done by the leadership of the PUP but I worked for Mr. Musa nevertheless. See, he was the leader of the PUP and our supporters needed us to return the PUP to power. I have the greatest of respect for Mr. Price, but getting closer to 2008 I was forced to disagree with something he said – no man is greater than the Party. Back then I thought that that mantra meant that nobody could disagree with what the leadership of the Party said or did, regardless of what they said or did. That irked me just a bit because I thought that the country and the people should be much, much bigger than the Party. Now I realize that Mr. Price was right – no one man should be bigger than the Party which is owned by all its members across the country – it was just that the Party had been so dominated by two men, Mr. Musa and Mr. Fonseca, that they had become the Party. It wasn’t about the people anymore.

But still I worked to return the PUP to power in 2008, under Mr. Musa as leader. We lost badly and to this day anybody would be hard pressed to prove to me that Mr. Musa and Mr. Fonseca were not the main players in that defeat. That is my opinion. Things just happened the way they happened, bad decisions were made, wrong things were done and our Party was damned near broken to pieces.

I still never disrespected Mr. Musa. I have held varying opinions of him, but I never disrespected him and I worked for him to the end. The closest I’ve gotten to actually losing my respect for Mr. Musa is right now. See, when Mr. Musa won leadership back in 1996 I’m sure there were those who didn’t like him, but differences were put aside for the good of the Party and we swept to resounding victory in 1998. So what exactly is going on now? Johnny Briceno won the leadership in 2008 – not by acclamation or underhanded scheming but by an election at which a majority of PUP supporters registered their support for him. So what the hell is the problem?

Mr. Musa has stated repeatedly that he has no wish to vie for power of the PUP again. As far as I’m concerned after 2008 that wouldn’t be an option anyway! So then why haven’t Mr. Musa and Mr. Fonseca applied their very generous resources and experience and wisdom to returning the PUP to power under the new duly elected Leader? Why knows? Best speculation is that after being in complete control of the Party for 10 years they don’t want to let go. Well, see – that choice isn’t theirs to make either. The people made that in 2008, remember?

I’m a lot sick and tired of the games. I’m tired of Mr. Musa claiming that he has nothing to do with the Perspective when most of the players in that maudlin comedy are under his control. If Mr. Musa cared about the PUP, he would use his still considerable power (in that quarter, at least) to put an end to the personal attacks on the leadership. There is not enough space here for me to go into the games being played. But I will say this – I wish that Mr. Musa would use his wiles and resources to help the PUP and the PUP Leader.

Johnny Briceno will not run the PUP the way Mr. Musa did, as a fiefdom with a ruler or two. But that does not make Mr. Briceno weak – far from it. I do not presume to speak for the leader of the PUP, although I can call him a friend the way I never could Mr. Musa. My leader has earned my respect and loyalty through his character and integrity and for no other reason. I wonder if my friends at the Perspective can say the same of their ‘leader.’ But I say that only to say this – I have come to know something of the man Mr. Briceno is, and he has depleted his supplies of patience and tolerance for petty games. The PUP will move on as the people’s movement, to serve the people. It will do so regardless of the games being played. Mr. Musa and his so-called ‘faction’ have apparently decided that they will not be a part of this people’s movement. That is their choice to make. Que sera sera!