Stop Play…

Shame! How can Patrick and Gapi dance in the streets of Orange Walk when the reality is that there are so many of our young people unable to go to high school? According to Dr. Herbert Gayle, there are about 19,700 young people who are not able to attend a high school in Belize – that is 30 percent.

Patrick Faber offers as a solution to the problem opening up something at the old Venus Terminal.  It is now July, we are a month away from school opening and still no work is being done to get the former Venus Terminal ready.  Now Patrick is closing down Excelsior High School.  Can you believe it, the Minister of Education is closing down a high school on the south side of the City.  Why unu balli no stap play?  If Da No So…

Cardona’s Big Whap

Poor Marcel is getting played like a fiddle.  Only in Belize and only under the UDP can a man—no, an elected official– be forced to apologize to one of his own who is clearly going after him by taking away from him what he deserves.  After marching in the streets in Orange Walk with his supporters over the fact that Gapi supposedly whap his education subsidy, Patrick cut a deal with Marcel.  But check this, Marcel will play nice this Sunday hoping Patrick will honour his commitment and give him the subvention, and then once the party leaves People’s Stadium, Gapi will be back to his old tricks and together with Patrick will punish Cardona, who will be left with nothing.  In the end you know who will be left with nothing?  The children of those same people who were marching for Marcel.  If Da No So…

UDP Convention Wisdom

This week If Da No So will provide a bit of advice people who will be going to Orange Walk and for the people of Orange Walk.

1. Calling all UDP Convention goers.  Tek the $100 you are being offered to attend the convention, you will need it.

1. Port Loyola voters we need to alert you that the going rate for the convention is $100.  We hear that in Port they are only giving $25.  Make sure you check with your Area Rep before they give you  the $25 we hear they are trying to offer you and not your $100.  And because we know your Area Rep doesn’t hang out on your side of the City, check with Miss Bailey at the Secretariat – this is your money.

1. If you are going to convention and you are a part of the UDP rank and file, take extra money because your meal ticket includes one tamalito,(tamales without meat)  a half a sandwich and ideal water.  If you are a part of the inner circle, however, no worries, you will be invited to the special party at Honey Camp and there you will have your choice of cochinito pibil, rellano, bar-b-que ribs and all you can drink Mexican beer and free zone liquor.

1. If you roll into town and Orange Walkeños are not smiling with you, do not think they are unfriendly, the opposite is true.  It is just that Orange Walk is PUP country and many PUP’s have been victimized by your party and are not in a mood to be nice.

1. Don’t be alarmed if you see a lot of security, remember the Party Leader moves with a heavy security detail and for Sunday more than 20 specialized security personnel will be there to make sure none of you get close to the Prime Minster.  So keep your distance.

1. This would be a good time to go after Gapi for all the hold up on your piece of land. You will not see him again until election time, so all of you who have been waiting and waiting, now is your chance – he wants to impress and so he will be there smiling.  Of course watch out for security because if Barrow has 20 he will want to have at least 10.

Doug’s Swan Song

Minister Doug will be stepping down as Chairman of the UDP,   For some it will be a farewell that is bitter sweet, but for others like John Saldivar, it will be dancing like it is an Elton John concert.  After all, Doug cheated him out of the Chairmanship last time round and Doug was made super minister.  John will be happy to see Doug go, but we know that Doug would never give in to the likes of John Saldivar, so expect to see a dark horse emerge as Party Chairman and Doug to have one more laugh at John’s expense.  If Da No So …

Who is the Government?

Who represented the Government of Belize last Monday when the report from Dr. Gayle was released?  This report was sponsored by the Ministries of Education, National Security, Youth, Office of the Prime Minister and the Belize Social Security Board, among others.  Yet the front row was empty, no one from the Government was in attendance, not a minister, not a CEO, not a Head of Department.  In fact so absent was the UDP Administration and leadership that the only person Jim McFadzen could find to interview was Joe Bradley.  Po Joe was so caught off guard that he even took on the church/state partnership, something well above his IQ.  Say it ain’t so Joe.  If Da No So …

Oh Mr. Singh…

I feel so very bad for the poor Minister of Police Doug Singh appears to have been caught smack dab in the middle of some very questionable circumstances over the weekend. Sources close to the emotional fellow say he was broken-hearted to learn that when people heard about a mystery boat that resembled a drug vessel because of its unidentifiable features and the Minister’s presence, everybody said oh oh! and immediately assumed the worst. Lucky for Doug that Mr. Chamberlain came up with a great story to explain the presence of the boat, but there are still a lot of questions out there, like hmmm, is it true that the boat was actually found moored in the mangroves in the canal behind Landivar? And is it true that when Police came up on the boat, they found plastic wrapping on board? And is it true that when the Minister arrived on the scene he told ADU personnel that the boat was actually his? And why exactly did the Minister of Police call a meeting with all the personnel from the ADU who were on the scene? And then there are the lesser questions like – why wasn’t the boat impounded since it was unlicensed and unregistered? And why wasn’t the owner charged, since regular Belizean fishermen found in a boat that is not licensed are charged $1000 and if the boat is not registered that’s another $1000? Yeah, so great story Doug. Methinks you got away lucky this time, my friend, but maybe you learned an interesting lesson from the fact that the nation was so readily prepared to think the worst of you…If Da Noh So!

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No DYING Allowed…

Word is that acting Mayor Philloughby has come up with a flyer which will be circulated around Belize City. According to a source, this flyer warns residents that as of this week there are only 9 spaces left at the Lord Ridge Cemetery. According to the source, the flyer states, “the City Council respectfully requests that if at all possible, residents of the City refrain from passing away at this time. Temporary arrangements are being made for a limited amount of burials at mile 5.5 just past the Haulover Bridge beside the huge mansion. The Council will advise when other permanent facilities have been prepared and things can return to normal. Please advise all family members, friends and loved ones. Sorry for any inconvenience caused.” If Da Noh Soh!

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Good Governance 101…

In case you’ve been missing our wonderful Mayor who is always good for a few laughs whenever she opens her mouth, she’s not in the country right now. She’s taking an intensive course somewhere in the Caribbean where she’s learning tips on being a good politician. Can you imagine? If you ask me that’s a waste of a space where another perfectly good Belizean woman who is serious about serving her country could have made an impact. Lady Z has already got her chance and instead of asking what she could do for her country, she made damned sure she figured out what our country’s coffers could do for her. And hell, I hear she’s missing half of the courses anyway, since she’s been asked to sit out lectures on accountability, transparency and good governance, If Da Noh Soh!

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SSB woes…

The Social Security Board has been in the spotlight lately after they gave a big contract in PG to a Guatemalan company over a Belizean company. Dem pipple only chancey. They no realize that the Belizean company pays its taxes and pays its Social Security contributions and all the Belizean employees who would have gotten work would have paid contributions into SSB. Now they’ve given it to a Guatemalan company who will probably bring in all the materials duty free and which pays nothing to SSB. Dem foolish bad. Of course this kinda makes me wonder if somebody’s hands may not have been greased just a bit because there is no other rationale for the Guatemalan company getting the contract. We’ve heard a lot of things about a board member whose company gets all the big jobs from Social Security, and word is that this same gentleman is the one who pushed the Guatemalan deal. Well you know that with this UDP bunch much stranger things than just a little hustling have happened…If Da Noh Soh!

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Marvelous Merlene…

And since we’re on the subject of the SSB, my good friend the marvelous Merlene is the center of attention in the staff-room. I hear that members of staff have mounted a picture of her on the wall and they use it for dart practice. Serious thing! Staff are grumbling because certain buddies of Merlene have been able to access special perks, like this manager who was able to secure a loan from SSB at a low, low interest rate so her daughter could buy a car. Then there’s the fact that members of staff have applied for housing loans and even though they meet all the requirements their applications have been stalled in the pipeline. Where’s the Union rep, you may ask? Has the rep been compromised to the point that she serves absolutely no purpose, at least in terms of assisting workers? Well that’s a whole other story we’ll be happy to get into very soon…If Da Noh Soh!

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The Malpago Lists…

Word from la Isla Bonita is that the Town Council has been publishing lists of those who are in arrears in terms of trade licenses and property taxes. Hey, it’s an unsavory business but its practices by municipal administrations across the country so we’ve got to live with that. But according to our island source, what is exceedingly strange is that the names appearing on the list are only names of known PUP supporters. Apparently there are no UDP supporters on the island who owe property taxes or trade license fees. Imagine that. What a wonderful bunch of people, eh? But our source also pointed out that one high profile name is missing from the list as well. See, our friendly island Mayor has her fingers in two well known pies on the island, Big Daddy’s Nightclub and Zac Bajo Restaurant and Bar. Our source claims that both businesses are in arrears in terms of trade license fees and property tax but the names aren’t on the list. It must have been a typo, Madam Mayor Paz. Could you ensure that those names are added onto the list in next week’s publication, please…If Da Noh Soh!

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More please…

The editor of the Belize Times asked me to convey his most sincere thanks to the Guardian newspaper for their repeated mention of him in Thursday’s issue. You all know that damned fellow always hard up for cash, right? Well it seems that he has made a deal with the powers that be in the PUP that whenever the Guardian mentions him in a negative light, he receives $100 for the, ahem, ahem, hardship (LOL). This week’s edition of the Guardian was good for a solid $800 which translates into a very good weekend for the, how did the Guardian refer to him, idiotic, non-persona underachiever. Well, then I guess you guys should be grateful the chubby dude isn’t an intellectual overachiever cause you all would be broke. Who’s the idiot now? If Da Noh Soh!

Drunk and disorderly…

The long anticipated Caye Caulker Lobster Fest was held this past weekend and by all reports it was quite a bash. This columnist got tied up in other nefarious pursuits so couldn’t make it but I thought, no worries, I can always get the juiciest details from my ole buddy barefoot Jr. But here’s how that went. You ever heard the saying – what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? Well insofar as my buddy barefoot goes, this was a case of what happens in Caye Caulker stays in Caye Caulker because my buddy was so drunk that he just couldn’t remember any of it. Word is that my friend got enamored of the island brew and had to be carried to his golf cart by two embarrassed women. But that’s not the sweetest thing. Either the women were in too much of a hurry to drive off or barefoot was in no shape to hold on, but the golf cart took off in one direction and Junior took off in the other direction…BRIGIDIM BOOF! Jeez buddy, no wonder your CEO who calls himself the real minister loves making fun of you at all his high-profile meetings…If Da Noh Soh!

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Vayense Cabron!

And from one embarrassed minister to another…mein, I hear the little boy created in Barrow’s image was fuming this weekend after he was turned back from the Chetumal border for behaving like an idiot. See, he gets away with that stuff here so he feels that he can take it anywhere…either that of he feels that his exalted status in Belize makes him special all over the world. What an idiot. Anyway, apparently the little runt didn’t want to go through procedures like the normal folk at Chetumal Immigration and blew his top when he was told that he would have to fill in a form just like everybody else. Buddy tried his usual rant including ‘don’t you know who I is?’ and ‘don’t you know who my boss is.’ But nobody on that side really gave a damn. When he got a little too loud and disorderly, he was apparently not so politely told to hit the road back to the land in which he believed that he mattered. Ouch for Patrick. Hey, let’s look on the bright side. The little minister was driving his government ride which we pay for, so at the very least the Mexican officials saved us some of the money we would have had to pay for gas for Patrick’s little jaunt in Chets…If Da Noh Soh!

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Up to the challenge?

Could somebody please take off Philloughby’s stupid superman hat and slap him upside the head with it? The guy is so stupid that he’s too stupid to realize that he’s stupid – know what I mean? I listened to him on the news last night responding to complaints from city residents about the garbage and swampy situation in their areas. So up jumps silly Philloughby and talks about it being a big task, but they’re up to the challenge. Up to the challenge? Boss, in all this time in office you guys have managed to wreck the city. Our streets are wrecked. Our parks and playgrounds are dilapidated. Garbage is all over the place. Nobody gets anything from the Council in the way of basic services. So for Philloughby to say that they are up to the challenge of fixing the mess is just a big joke. And get this – do you think it’s any fluke that the day after Philloughby announced that he would think about going for the Mayor’s job the UDP announced that Zenaida had been un-expelled? Think about it. If Da Noh Soh!

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Health scare…

Word coming out of Central American national health centers is that staff has threatened a go-slow after news emerged that Belize’s Minister of Health Pablo Marin would be taking over as the new Pro-Tempore President of the Council of Ministers of Health of Central America. Apparently that news and the chance that Marin might actually have some input on health policy in the region put quite a scare into health centers which are currently already experiencing challenges in that sector. Any input from Marin, they allegedly say, will no doubt result in complete disorganization and disaster to their respective health systems. As evidence they point to the health system in Belize which has been devastated since Marin took over as Minister of Health. The only entities benefitting from Marin’s stint as Minister of Health, they claim, are the private hospitals which have seen an increase in patients who are afraid to entrust their medical care to the public health system in Belize. As an olive branch, some vocal medical practitioners say that if Marin agrees not to interfere or offer any input whatsoever, they would be willing to throw some electrical work his way…If Da Noh Soh!

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Thank you Belize Times…

As an organization we rarely take time to blow our own horn, since pointing out the inadequacies of this UDP administration and revealing their corrupt inner workings is a labour of love we perform for the benefit of the Belizean people. And yeah, it’s a lot of fun too. Two weeks ago the Belize Times ran a full page piece pointing out that it has been more than 8 months since the Government started to repair a small section of road at mile 7 on the Northern Highway. Actually we were being nice because it’s been more like a year. But anyway, we were happy to see that somebody took note and this week some material was taken to the area and it looks like some work might be done. Keep your fingers crossed, people. We’ve also pointed out that it’s been much more than two years since the Kendall Bridge washed away and nothing has been done. Who knows, maybe the people in the South will get a bridge before this bunch gets kicked out of office…If Da Noh Soh!

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BACK OFF!

I’ve had to be pretty careful when writing about the confused editor of the UDP rag because even his friends were embarrassed when he broke down and cried, but I just got to say this to whoever’s willing to take notice. You guys are crossing the line. Don’t get me wrong, I’m willing to go down and dirty with the best of them, but I’m throwing out this caution so that you all know that if this continues it’s going to get very nasty. Over on this side we’ve been happy to hit political targets but family has been kept out of the equation for the most part. I notice that in weeks past something has changed over on the other side – the attacks are not more focused or harder hitting, just nastier and more malicious and scattered. Just this week a person who is involved in politics in no way took a beating in the Guardian. Hell, guys, take this as a nice gesture on my part because after this there won’t be any more. I’d throw out some of the stuff we have right now just to show that we have the goods, but I’m being advised to be nice, at least this week. DAT DA SOH!

Bad Boys Bad Boys…

Word to this columnist is that plans for a new state of the art gym at the Queen Street Police Station are already being finalized. A source claims that the budget for uniform and overtime allowances is being cut and the funds re-allocated to ensuring that the fitness facility is outfitted with the latest equipment complete with trainer to ensure that the boys in uniform get buns of steel. No expense is being spared, not even in the shower area, though observers are wondering why the new Minister is insisting on one-way mirrors when even the interview rooms don’t have one-way mirrors…If Da Noh Soh!

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Cowering in fear…

Word from the streets is that criminals held a meeting last night after the interview with Doug Singh and they’re contemplating leaving the life of crime altogether. Hell, Dean Barrow should have done this a long time ago, observers are saying. The violent elements in the city are cowering in fear after Doug Singh’s bold proclamation that he would lead the charge against them by repainting the Police Station and clearing debris from the yard and keeping the rooms at the station spic and span. The image of Doug in a French maid’s uniform with feather duster in hand must have struck terror into the hearts of bloodthirsty gang-bangers. Oh, and Doug’s declaration that he would put the Police Officers on a diet must have terrified the criminals who ruthlessly shoot their victims in broad daylight. Oh what a sick sick joke…If Da Noh Soh!

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Carnival or not…

Last week there was one day when the Carnival cruise ship didn’t come to Belize because of the weather and it threw the whole economic system at the tourism village out of whack. Vendors, some of whom had travelled from far off districts, lamented at the loss of the day’s sales, as did a large network of restaurants and shops and tourist sites and tour guides. So imagine this possibility. This columnist has received reports that Carnival Cruise Line is considering cutting Belize from its route and stopping at an alternate destination. As we understand it, the top brass of Carnival are making the argument that crime has become a prohibitive risk and they are having problems selling the packages including Belize for that reason. In addition, we understand that management of the cruise line is pointing to the conditions of the city as deplorable and dilapidated. Hell, who’d blame a tourist for not wanting to come to disembark in this cesspool of a city? This is bad news for Belize, but there’s nobody to blame but the UDP which has allowed the city to deteriorate and has allowed crime to get completely out of control…If Da Noh Soh!

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Police vs. DPP’s Office…

Just in the past week about three serious cases against alleged hardcore criminals had to be thrown out because the prosecution didn’t have the case files to present. How messed up is that? It’s a problem that has plagued us for a while now and has resulted in criminals feeling that they have a get out of jail free card courtesy of the keystone cops et al. Anyway, during the search for truth since we insist that the truth will set you free, we discovered that there is currently a serious battle being waged between the Police Department and the DPP’s Office. Apparently that’s why so many case files aren’t being passed on to the DPP’s office and consequently, why so many cases are being thrown out for lack of prosecution. The top brass of the Police apparently aren’t concerned because the casual observer will always blame the DPP for any case that’s thrown out. Kids, please stop the fighting. Criminals are being set free while you all wrestle in the schoolyard…If Da Noh Soh!

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First class waste…

John Saldivar hacks people’s e-mail, or so he says, but I’ll bet he didn’t hack the e-mail containing the memo advising UDP ministers that the country is broke. We don’t have money, Jack. People are starving out here and the IMF says things aren’t looking so good and will get worse. You see, the porcine minister claims great intellectual prowess, so I have to believe that if he had seen that memo he would have known that first class travel isn’t included in the list of austerity measures for ministers. Oh wait, that list is just a figment of my imagination because UDP ministers don’t get to tighten their belts like the rest of us. Saldivar and his Chief Executive Officer were spotted coming back from their travels on Monday, reclining in first class in luxury. Enjoy it, fellows, cause the day of reckoning will soon be here. If Da Noh Soh!

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When, Mr. Barrow?

A couple weeks ago the bald one told university students that in this economic thing, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. He didn’t mention that he had put the first lady second wife there with a flashlight which she turned on at his command, but turned off as soon as hubby’s speech was done. But seriously mein, for the past 3 months Mr. Barrow has been proclaiming that things are looking up, that evidence shows that we have weathered this storm and are on an uphill climb. Boss, you must have dreamed that one while you were nestled in your king-sized feather-mattress bed in air-conditioned comfort. See what happens when you eat too much filet mignon and quaff too much Moet before hitting the sack? Things rough out ya, big man. There has been absolutely no sign that things are getting better. Ask anybody on the streets. Why does Mr. Barrow insist on fooling the people? The IMF is saying that the deficit is growing because this damned government keeps spending money on itself. That means there is worse to come. If Da Noh Soh!

You see…

Remember that you saw it in here first…first wife second lady Loisy has her mind set on being Belize’s next Attorney-General and since ex-hubby can’t seem to say no to his love bunny, it’s as good as a done deal. Check it out…when the CJ ruled in favour of the Mayas this week, a tired and shell-shocked Loisy immediately stated that GOB would appeal the case. Now it seems to me that if she is just GOB’s attorney in this case, she would need to go check with her clients to discuss the next move. But nope, Loisy took charge and told the media exactly what GOB’s next move would be. How you like that? But hey, even blind eye jamesy could see ex-hubby’s play when he made BQ Pitts the (temporary?) Attorney-General! Lawd, even the man’s friends say that Pitts’ mental faculties are kinda ‘iffy’ right now. Looks to us like the old man only has to stand in for a little while longer before the real Slim Shady stands up and steps into place…If Da Noh Soh!

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What stinks…?

This columnist has received word that the management of a hotel in Miami is contemplating billing Prime Minister Dean Barrow for costs incurred in evacuating more than 1,000 guests from the hotel last Friday. The evacuation was ordered after a horrendous stench pervaded the facilities and authorities could not identify the source. Subsequent investigations have revealed that while the smell was highly offensive it was not toxic and posed no real threat to guests. Apparently investigations have also revealed that the terrible odor emanated from the room where Dean was holding a big party to get in his requisite photo opportunities. Furthermore sources close to investigators have revealed to this columnist that partygoers report getting the first whiff of the stench immediately after the Prime Minister started his speech. They are also reporting that the smell grew stronger as the speech continued, and halfway through his speech the guests could take it no longer and that is when the evacuation was ordered. While authorities have identified the source of the smell, they are reportedly questioning a cattle rancher who claims that he knows exactly what the smell is…LOL. If Da Noh Soh!

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Zone closed down…

I hear there’ll be an uprising in the Free Zone anytime now. Business owners are saying that things are already really, really bad and some of them have been operating at a loss, and now the UDP clowns in power put even more of a hurting on them. See, on Saturday when Alex decided to pay us a visit the head of the Zone got an attack of the nerves and closed down all shops in the Zone. By 4:00pm more than 3,000 Mexicans who were shopping had been chased out under bells, leaving business owners furious. Our smarter counterparts right across the border kept all their shops and the Mall open for business as usual while our chief idiots at the Zone made an already bad situation worse. The higher the monkey climbs, say our angry friends from up north, the more he shows his ass…If Da Noh Soh!

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What the hell…?

Damn, talk about a picture being worth a thousand words…check this one out! This is our new Consulate across the border in Chetumal, complete with Consul-General Jorge Valencia. So I looked at the picture from the left and I looked at it from the right…I even squinted but the image stayed the same. What you see here is what you get – a garage passing as the Consulate of Belize. Shame! I wonder how much we’re paying Mr. Valencia as Consul-General. I’d love to know how much we’re paying to operate this ‘office.’ But wait, maybe we’re wrong and this is a full service Consulate – maybe Belizeans can discuss important matters with the Honorary-Consul and have him change their oil at the same time…eh could be! What a bloody witless UDP this is…things done haad for Belizeans but the fleecing continues…If Da Noh Soh!

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We’re in Miami b##@h!

And since we’re on the subject of fleecing…maybe baldy could tell us how much we’re paying to keep our Consulate in Miami operating. I did a little digging and came up with a figure, but I’d like to get some verification from our just returned from Miami leader. I hear we’re paying something like $350,000 every year to keep our Miami Consulate operational. I’d be interested in knowing how much Ms. Sylvester gets in salary and perks and just who collects about $111,000 in overtime alone. Yup, that’s right – $111,000 in overtime. Methinks that it is time for an investigation to be done into the monies allocated to our Consuls and embassies in foreign lands. Lawd, Mr. Barrow yu really chancey…If Da Noh Soh!

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New security measures…

About two weeks ago the Belize Times called on mini-Mugabe to address the issue of security at the Court, especially after the broad daylight brazen execution of Andre Trapp. So we understand that baldy consulted with the brightest minds (LMAO) in his Cabinet, then he thought long and hard about the situation before coming up with a brilliant idea. Yup, you can see it right here. This picture shows Mr. Barrow’s answer to the security dilemma by the Courts. Ay, no wonder Belize is in such a quandary…If Da Noh Soh!

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Over-prepared?

In another column in another section of this newspaper I made a comment that the UDP idiots were probably patting themselves on the back and taking credit for the fact that Tropical Storm Alex wasn’t as bad as had been predicted. So said so done! Those idiots are nothing if not predictable. Boss, Belizeans were lucky that Alex didn’t deliver what it promised. How the hell can NEMO take credit for that? How stupid can these people be? The fact of the matter is that Mr. NEMO should be on his knees thanking the good Lord for saving him and covering up his complete failure in preparing for this storm. No sleep yet, boss, because the Hurricane Season is young yet…If Da Noh Soh!

Help please…

The people of Belize, or at least those who travel on the Northern Highway have a concern and they’d like to ask baldy for help. See, a couple months ago the big cheese announced that he was anointing a group of big thinkers and brilliant minds from abroad, a sort of PM’s Deli Select, if you will. This group was supposed to apply the latest innovations in science and technology to enhance our economy and take Belize to the next level. Well what we’d like to ask, see, is if before doing all that high-fallutin stuff the group could be loaned to Boots so they could teach he and Cadet how to fix a piece of road. Right by mile 7 on the Northern Highway there’s this little ¼ mile stretch of road that’s been driving the minister and his CEO crazy – it’s been about 6 months now and they still can’t seem to figure out how to pave it and how to fortify the riverbank. Obviously this job is too much for Boots and his sidekick, so we figured there must be something really complicated about this particular little piece of road. So hell, let’s call in the big thinkers cause our people sure ain’t getting the job done…If Da Noh Soh!

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Dickens my bottom…

Last week mini-Mugabe told graduating students that ‘these are the best of times and the worst of times.’ The media ate it up and attendees applauded the fellow for his eloquence and fabulous oratorical skills. But let’s break down what baldy was really telling students – let’s see, these are the best of times. This can be translated from Barrow-speak fairly easily – for the graduating students, the sense of achievement after years of dedicated study must be monumental and they must be feeling pretty damned good about themselves. And as for the worst of times – well that can be translated fairly easily as well. Baldy was telling the students that when they get over that euphoric high of achievement, they’ll get the sense that there ain’t no jobs out there. The UDP messed up everything and destroyed the economy and killed industries so be prepared to sit at home and live off your parents if they can afford to feed you. Yup, the best of times and the worst of times! Baldy was absolutely right…If Da Noh Soh!

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Layoffs…

Mini-Mugabe has been very busy lately travelling to foreign locales, attending a bash here and a bash there, a ball there or a cocktail somewhere else. Seems baldy gets a rash every time he stays in our tropical climes for any length of time. I think he’s in South Florida right now, incidentally. You know what they say about disasters striking where there is plenty corruption, so if those people know what’s good for them they should get him the hell out of there in a hurry. Anyway, the fellow has been silent on the economy lately. Guess there’s no reason for him to say anything since his own economy is so robust and thriving. Word from the business sector is that a major local/regional airline is announcing layoffs effective immediately and is asking management to take pay cuts between $300 – $500. And that’s only one company. Things are bad all over Belize, baldy, but maybe you haven’t noticed since you and wifey are always somewhere else. The time will come, baldy, when you’re going to have to say something, because things sure don’t seem to be getting any better out here. If Da Noh Soh!

From the bowels of BTL…

This columnist has received word that poor beleaguered Karen from BTL was instructed to call in all her department heads and advise them to tell employees that they were attending Dean Boyce’s meeting on Wednesday at their own risk. Karen’s been looking tired lately as she tried to carry out orders from the first son and the first wife. Apparently employees are being asked why they think they have rights to any money from any shares cause they didn’t pay anything toward it anyway. Word out of the big green (sorry, red) machine is that employees are pissed off that their bosses have resorted to threatening their jobs if they attend the meeting with Boyce. Lately the common cry has been – ‘they told us to get rid of the white man, but the white man never got this personal and petty with us.’ Hmmm…If Da Noh Soh!

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Using the union…

Even the union at BTL has come under fire lately since the UDP bosses are using them to push the word that the money from shares is just a pipe dream. The union heads didn’t expect the reaction they got, however. Employees are already pissed at the whole UDP takeover of BTL because they haven’t seen any of the promised benefits. And with all that’s happening right now, employees are calling for the removal of Mark and Paul and if not then the removal of the entire leadership of the union. Things are very, very volatile at BTL right now. Something’s gotta give…If Da Noh Soh!

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Mayor naming streets…

Lawd have mercy…Mayor Zenaida Moya is back in the spotlight and this time her big project is naming the streets in the city which don’t have names yet. Mein somebody needs to escort this lady out of City Hall in a hurry because she’s just one big joke. The clowns in City hall can’t get anything right, so the naming streets thing is just a ploy to let people think they’re doing something, anything. The bogus Mayor announced that she’ll be putting together a committee to select names. I hear that she has already personally submitted a few of them. Pretty soon people will be living on DJ Dalla Drive and Silvino Street and Zenaida Boulevard. You don’t believe me, just wait and see. Hey, the Mayor has done much more scandalous things. Maybe we shouldn’t be surprised to see a couple new roundabouts springing up on Half a Dalla Avenue right across from Hustle Alley. You read it here first…If Da Noh Soh!

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Chancey Barrow…

The multi-millionaire who by some fluke of the ballot became the leader of this small nation is one chancey, neglectful, high-minded sucker. Apparently there’s a basketball just down the street from the royal mansion in front of the sea which was utilized by hundreds of the city’s youth. Crime being what it is under mini-Mugabe, the floodlights over the court were stolen, but did Barrow replace them, seeing as how sports is so important to our youth. Oh no he didn’t! What Mr. Barrow did was pave the street leading to Seashore Drive which he uses to reach home. Then he piled sand on the football field, turning it into a volleyball court which absolutely nobody uses. Then he painted the basketball court red. Yup, that’s right, red. But he didn’t replace the lights so the court is still in darkness…a perfect spot for youth to congregate and smoke weed. Mr. Barrow really doesn’t have a clue…not a clue. If Da Noh Soh!

Oh no mini-Mugabe…

Late word to this columnist is that mini-Mugabe had to be sedated when he saw the release from the Bar Association basically confirming what we’ve been saying so long – you’re a damned dictator and despot and an untrustworthy fellow, big man (well that’s my translation of the release and I’m sticking to it). Hear baldy called for the first wife second lady to attend the Bar Association meeting to speak up for him, but Loisy said oh hell no. See, apparently she’d already gotten word that every lawyer at the meeting was going to sign on to the release and she didn’t plan on looking like the odd one out, not even for the bald bubby-holder. So Lois didn’t show up and Michael Young abstained and every other attorney who was there gave the bukut to mini-Mugabe. Signs of things to come, my arrogant friend…signs of things to come!

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Guilty feelings…

Tell you the truth sometimes I feel kinda bad to have so much fun at the expense of the idiots on the other side…like last week I felt guilty for almost a minute for poking fun at my confused ‘bally’ from the Guardian, even more so when I received a call telling me that he had burst into tears when he read the piece on him in the Belize Times…sobbed like a baby, they said. That made me sad, because I never meant to make him cry…LOL! What a big baby. If Da Noh Soh!

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First class dunce…

And since we’re on the subject of idiots…you’ve gotta be kidding me. I just got word that the barefoot minister and his CMLSO (Chief Money-Laundering Suspect Officer – yup I just made that one up) recently went on a trip to Panama. My barefoot buddy was sent to sit by himself in the economy seats at the back of the plane while the CMLSO reclined in plush comfort in First Class. No lie…can you imagine that? People were cracking up because ‘sin zapatos’ spent the entire flight craning his neck to see what was being served in first class. Word is that by the time he got his little buzz on he was loudly protesting every time the CMLSO was served champagne and snacks, telling everyone who would listen that he is really the minister. Hahahaha…of course nobody believed that. Ayyy these people kill me…If Da Noh Soh!

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Church petition…

Word has it that lately the bald one has been advising his motley crew that they have to get more involved in the churches in their areas (a serious case of do as baldy says and not as baldy does). Anyway, the big cheese reportedly told his boys that they have to be on the forefront of every conversation in church…that they have to be the biggest topics of conversation. Of course, the hairless one meant that they should get involved in a good way but the damned dimWitz misunderstood the whole thing. But it worked. Sure nuff dim Witz is the topic of conversation in church and sure nuff everybody’s talking about him. Hell (excuse my blasphemy), last week the pastor at a church spent his entire sermon ranting and raving about how dimWitz is involved in the sale of a green area in Belmopan. The pastor even circulated a petition asking churchgoers to sign up against the corruption at ReconDev. Yeah baldy I know this wasn’t the church participation you had in mind but you’re gonna have to deal with this situation in Cayo South sooner rather than later…If Da Noh Soh!

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Hummer Bummer…

Last week I was asking about mi bally the Mayor of Belize City who’s been strangely isolated from the media lately. Where is my buddy, I wondered. Oh where oh where can she be? Well, somebody called me last week and gave me a clue where she could be found. Looks like after hours the hubby drags the tarp off the yellow Hummer, backs it out the garage where it stays hidden and he, Z and little half-a-dalla go circling around the city in the H3 with loud music blasting from the speakers? No, said I. Can’t be! The last time the Mayor was accused of owning a Hummer she said oh no, her bottom had never touched ground in a Hummer. We wonder what she would say if asked the question today…oh yeah, she’d probably say in her best third person manner…well, you know how Zenaida no mek wah move without God guidance…yeah right Z, God told you to go buy a Hummer. Jeez. If Da Noh Soh!

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Hell No!

We’d like to take this opportunity to send a message to the Mayor without a cause or a color – don’t bother to come back. The doors of Independence Hall will always be closed to you. Stop sending messages…stop sending emissaries – NO MEANS NO!

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No Brief Tiefs wanted…

The same message goes out to the convicted brief tief…hear since his speed-dial malfunctioned recently and none of his red buddies answered the call he’s been making enquiries about space under the big blue tent. Give it up, Creamy! I went out and took measurements myself and there ain’t no space under there for you. Better try getting that speed-dial problem resolved…If Da Noh Soh!

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ACB breaking up…

Well to nobody’s really great surprise, the Association Concerned about Barrow (ACB) is breaking up. See, back then before elections the ACB wasn’t such a bad place to be cause everybody was looking to baldy as the black Moses leading the masses out of the wilderness. But what this Moses did is lead the masses out of the wilderness and off the edge of a cliff into rough seas filled with giant man-eating sharks. So now everybody in the ACB is jumping ship at a time when the country most needs a real true true ACB. We predicted it a long time ago. It has now come to pass. If Da Noh Soh!

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BTL Chancey…

Another thing we’ve been predicting for some time is mutiny within the ranks at the Barrow Telemedia Limited and trust me, that’s coming sooner rather than later. Lots of not so nice things happening in there like the under-qualified relative of a Minister in the Accounts Department being elevated to a senior post. Then there’s the fact that junior employees in the BESL section who are known UDP cronies getting huge raises. Oh yeah, then there’s the firing of a valued employee in Corozal just because he attended a PUP rally. Yup, things are going to blow soon, and you’ll be able to say you read it here first…If Da Noh Soh!

Do the Dean Barrow…

I don’t believe it…in fact, if I didn’t hear it with my own two Dumbo-sized ears I wouldn’t believe it. Hell, no. A couple weeks ago mini-Mugabe was at some conference or the other and the subject of his estranged son (the rapper formerly known as Shyne) came up. So the bald fellow who ignored Shyne’s existence for 99.99999% of his life gets up like a proud daddy and says that Shyne is making a song about Belize. I thought to myself – well that’s gonna take a long time cause first the dude’s gonna have to go find out a little bit about Belize. But anyway, here I was early this week innocently listening to my radio when this lil tune just got my attention. Are you following me here? There’s a new song hitting the streets and I guess it’s the one our Music Ambassador was working on cause the timing is too coincidental. It’s called Do the Dean Barrow and has something in there bout jumping on the dance floor in your red skinny jeans, jerking up and down and rubbing your head at the same time. WTF! You’ve got to be kidding me. This is too funny for words. Good work Shyne, but wasn’t the song supposed to be about Belize?…LOL…If Da Noh Soh!

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The hog & the ‘hallari’…

Well, yeah, we know that smelly dread can behave like a real a-hole most of the time, especially during village council elections when he was out there threatening and intimidating and harassing voters recently. But the thing is that the hog man ain’t nothing compared to his wife who has been out in full force cussing up people all over the place. In the normal course of things, we’d leave smelly-dread’s wife out of this column because her behavior is his business but she was so all up in everybody’s face behaving like a real idiot that we just had to take notice. Seeing the missus in action kinda made me feel sorry for smelly, actually, and now I can understand why he’s been forced to seek solace and comfort elsewhere and has been caught in compromising positions all over the place (remember the ministerial ID left in a certain establishment on the Northern Highway). I gat yu back, smelly! No more reporting on your misdeeds and back door deals in this paper cause after getting a hefty and unhealthy dose of your wife in action recently, I completely understand…If Da Noh Soh!

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Haad head dread…

I tell you the truth, this damned nasty Castro head only haad! For months and months now sweaty and his cycling team have been riding the roads in training, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But right behind him there’s his trusty driver in his all expenses paid by us government ride day in and day out. Lawd bwoy, the people are asking you to stop that nonsense. Why should we pay because you want to get up early and ride on the road? It’s not right. Smelly is so upset because Barrow kicked him in the a$$ that he’s decided to ride across Belize with the SSB and you guessed it, we’re paying so his driver can follow him in the government ride and make sure nobody gets too close to the boss (not that they have to worry too much on that score). Anyway, you know that thing about God nuh like ugly? Well He doesn’t, and we understand that during the ride smelly’s bike just broke, just like that and he had to pull out of the ride. It’s a message from above, Mr. Castro. We suggest you take note…If Da Noh Soh!

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Still no Kendall…

Two weeks into the hurricane season and the idiots in Cabinet still have their fingers in their ears and lips shut tight on the Kendall thing. Two years, Mr. PM. Two years since the bridge washed away and you’ve got nothing to say. For months now I’ve been driving past the site of the million dollar plus fence at the sporting complex and trying to convince myself that I must be missing something…there must be something special about this fence, some button that makes fireworks shoot out of the fence-posts, some gizmo that makes the fence glow in the dark. Something! But nope, there’s nothing there. It’s just a plain, ordinary run of the mill million dollar plus fence which is still not even nearly finished after almost a year of construction. But the Prime Minister says he and his government got skills, they’ve got game. Yeah well, here’s a thought…if we get just a lil bit of heavy rains the people down south won’t be able to make the crossing to witness baldy’s skills. That should make mini-Mugabe get a move on…If Da Noh Soh!

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The UDP Convention…

I got word late last week that there’s a great big circus coming to town for one show only at the People’s Stadium in Orange Walk and its set for August 1. Nope, it’s not the Circo Hermano Suarez and kids don’t bother scrounging for loose change to attend. There’ll be no popcorn or elephants or tigers or pretty girls in spandex. The only attractions at this circus will be clowns…a whole lot of clowns. Yup, word is that the date of the UDP Convention is set and it’s going to be very, very interesting. Mini-me was encouraged to back off his quest for the Holy Grail and told that he’s still too wet behind the ears, so he’ll have to settle for the post of Chairman of the UDP which is being given up by the Village People police minister lookalike. The man with much knowledge of the contraband trade isn’t leaving anything up to chance and started his campaigning in the north early. Just in case, he insisted that the venue be in his hometown. But get this, late reports from out west indicate that the fat clown with the mental and physical agility deficit wants to do his dance in the big top and has told baldy that he paid his dues and wants to be deputy. Last word is that negotiations are underway for the shady fellow way out west to step down and make way, but we’ll see how that goes. All in all, the circus should be an interesting one but definitely not for the kids…If Da Noh Soh!

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Too late to apologize?

Damn my soft, sensitive side. I swear I’m too sweet for politics. Last week we did a hatchet job on poor, confused Fonso and I kinda feel bad about it. Actually, I didn’t feel at all bad until a friend called just a while ago and told me that Fonso was on the point of tears when he read the Belize Times last week. If there’s one thing I hate it’s to see a grown man cry. But like I keep telling shim (oops, I did it again) if you stand in the ring throwing soft jabs you gotta be prepared to get knocked the (enter expletive here) out. For months and months the little pansy has skipped around the ring taking his shots and one of the few times we decided to uppercut the idiot, he swoons and bursts into tears. You know what, I don’t feel sorry for him at all cause as I’m writing this I’m remembering some of the very personal and petty things he’s had to write. Even now I’m being told that he’s on the morning show with a whole lot to say. Bring it on, butt-boy! I can take it. But just to let you know, if just a few little comments made you cry maybe you should back off just a bit if you don’t want us to really get going…If Da Noh Soh!

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The Big Loser…

I hear big things are happening up north and none of it is good for the man with nothing to offer. From UDP insiders we understand that Nemencio Acosta is on the way out to pasture and will be replaced by Mr. Akierman who is the DPM’s buddy. It also looks like our buddy the electrician has decided he can’t win again in the Bay so now he wants to run in Corozal Southeast. His seat in the Bay will apparently be contested by the ‘Casino’ Campos who says that although he has done nothing for the town as Mayor he is sure that he can win. Of course he made that claim while he was in the casino under the influence of a little happy juice. I could tell the Mayor stories about that happy juice. Anyway, big things going on up north in the camp of the UDP clowns…If Da Noh Soh!

A temporary appointment…

Folks in the know are saying that the appointment of Mr. B.Q. Pitts as Attorney-General is only a temporary thing and a deal has been struck which will have him vacating the post in about three months for ‘health reasons.’ Hell, this is eminently believable because the baldhead has done much worse than this. And judging from past experience and his peculiar affection for his first lady love, the rumour that Lois will then step into the post is also eminently believable. Apparently Mini-Mugabe decided that there was just too much scrutiny on him at this time and he needed to buy some time before presenting first wife second lady with another of those precious and highly lucrative little baubles…If Da Noh Soh!

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The Barber & the morons…

This columnist understands that the barber, the confused ‘man’ and the fool with the 20 year old hair and 100 year old face met up at the barber shop last week. From what we understand, the biting insects were flaunting a roll of blue bills and telling everybody that the UDP will never win another term, so they intend to get what they can while the getting’s good. I hear that the old fool was sipping a little devil juice and told the barber that unlike him, when the UDP is kicked out he won’t have to go back to cutting hair for a living. The barber apparently got a little pissed and told the old fool that he has made his fortunes already but doesn’t go around flaunting it. Anyway, after the harsh exchange of words we understand that the three made up in a nearby bar…If Da Noh Soh!

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Stupid Philloughby…

Is Deputy Mayor Phillip Willoughby really such a moron that he does not even realize when people are laughing at him to his face? Doesn’t he realize that when members of the media call him Philloughby, it’s not exactly a complimentary term? Jeez. I thought I had heard it all from the city hall idiot. I mean, he’s offered to sell City Hall to pay salaries for garbage workers and offered to nationalize garbage collection. Hell, he even had this little Febreze bottle of disappearing potion which he claimed would make all the garbage at the dump disappear. Remember that one. But his latest interview with Jules made me realize that we may not even have begun to plumb the depths of this boy’s stupidity. Jules was asking the boy wonder (insert ‘roaring with laughter’ here) if he didn’t think it was a problem that three senior managers at City Hall had just up and resigned. I mean, we’re talking about the head of Finance, the head of traffic and the city administrator, right! Well, that boy just scratched his head, pondered the matter for a second and said – ‘NOPE!’ what a dope! But then again, maybe he meant that things were already so bad that they could not possibly get any worse. There’s always that possibility…If Da Noh Soh!

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Oh where oh where…

Oh where oh where has our little Mayor gone, oh where oh where could she be? The poor little woman was kicked to the curb by her Party and since then she’s apparently gone into seclusion. But then again, what the hell can she say? To be kicked out of a morally upstanding and sterling organization is one thing but damn, to be kicked out of the dodo-bird ranks of the UDP must have been a devastating blow. Hahahaha! Zenaida is so bad that even the UDP can’t stand her. But never fear, I have the utmost confidence that Zenaida will be back in the spotlight, speaking in the third person like she does without seeming to realize how stupid it makes her sound. Oh, and you can bet that she will mention God at least three or four times as her guiding light. Sorry to kick you when you’re down, Zenaida, but even God is probably holding his head and trying to figure out where he went wrong with you…If Da Noh Soh!

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Not the First Lady…

We mean absolutely no disrespect, but could somebody please, please inform Kim Simplis-Barrow that she is not the First Lady of Belize. How hard can that be to understand? Jeez. If she chose the take the title, the First Lady would rightly be the wife of the Governor-General, who is the head of state. But yeah, anyway, Belize will be the next in line to chair the Central-American Integration System (SICA) and we hear that the wife of the Prime Minister (not the First Lady, we stress) is coordinating a conference for the First Ladies of the region. So far, we’ve been told, only one person has accepted her invitation which makes for a very lonely conference. Oh and by the way, could the Prime Minister say whether it is true that his wife has been relocated to a very pricey suite at the very tippy top of a very pricey building on Coney Drive? And could the Prime Minister say whether that office is being financed by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs? I have to say I don’t believe this is so, not when the economy is in recession and things really, really dread…If Da Noh Soh!

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Return of the Hog…

Guess who wasn’t smiling at the Prime Minister’s recent reshuffle/expansion? If you guessed the hog dread, then you were absolutely right. Remember we told you that he had already gone figurative hat in hand to the Prime Minister to ask for a nudge up to Minister? The Prime Minister had told him that if he delivered Belize Rural North he would get his shot. Well that food did everything he could from intimidating voters to promising land and cable to threats and he was still kicked in the face by the PM. Maybe he should have taken a lesson from Kenny Morgan. Hahahahaha! I’m trying to imagine a bald-headed hog. He got absolutely nothing, zilch, nada and was still crying when we checked up to yesterday. I understand the PM has made it clear that he can’t stand the fool and is only waiting for a chance to give him the real boot…If Da Noh Soh!

Poor Dim-Witz…

Another sour face recently has been that of my friend from Cayo South, Mr. Dim-Witz himself. The PM made a real fool out of him for real. See, he was promised a run as Minister and impetuous and premature idiot that he is, was already making big promises and hiring a whole new staff in his head. I hear he had already picked out a new fancy ride. All that went up in smoke when the word was made flesh, so to speak. Nothing for poor Ramon…all his dreams ground to dust. The PM better watch his back, though, because Dim-Witz is saying that this is one insult he won’t take lying down. Should be interesting to watch…If Da Noh Soh!

Biting Insects…

There I was, poking a little fun at mi bally Joe and mi bally Fonso last week, and I didn’t realize that this thing is no laughing matter. The poor boys are up that proverbial creek with no paddle and rapids dead ahead and a whole bunch of UDP hecklers stoning them from the banks. It’s that bad. After a second week started without the amazing antics of the two sissy clowns, I started to miss them just a little, so I sent some messages of support through my friends at the UDP Secretariat, a.k.a. Red Top. In return I got back some info. It seems like these two idiots (pardon me, my true feelings slipped out) have been under scrutiny for some time now, after king baldy got word that their nickname within the UDP is ‘biting insects.’ Best we could figure is that these two morons have been selling ‘services’ on WAVE, promising certain parties either ‘protection’ or a convenient ‘big-up’ in exchange for a small bite, so to speak. All hell apparently broke loose when the two fools (slipped again, sorry) were caught on camera at our very own Vibes Radio and money was seen exchanging hands. Sources tell us that the sissy clowns put their own spin on that close encounter of the financial kind and they were given the benefit of the doubt. This was Monday last week. But lo and behold the bloody jackasses (damn) did it again on Tuesday. That time the ‘bite’ was obviously courtesy of the ‘brief tief’ from #48 Baymen Avenue, because Joe and Fonso were doing everything but promising Creamy sensual massages on air. That was too much for the higher ups, we understand, and Joe and Fonso were immediately yanked. Poor guys! We’ve been trying to raise funds for Care packages but nobody seems to care…If Da Noh Soh!

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Baldy’s balls…

Old baldy was on Channel 7 Wednesday night saying that he’s none too morose to be seeing the last of his golden girl turned wicked witch Zenaida. It’s a sentiment shared by quite a few in the Party. One wizened old UDP stalwart we spoke to had this to say – ‘she took the city for a ride and we were okay with that, but the durned girl just had to go after Mr. Barrow’s weak spot, and we all know how sensitive he is about that. We had to do what we had to do.’ But seriously though, I can’t understand the UDP’s fixation with baldy’s balls or lack thereof. I’m sure that there must have been bigger issues than that. But anyway, the learned leader says that he’s seen the last of Zenaida, but we wouldn’t be too sure about that. Last we heard, she’s stating that she has the pictures to prove her claim…If Da Noh Soh!

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While baldy gloats…

According to his exalted brilliantness on Love FM this week, the latest statistics from the Central Bank indicate that there is an increase in exports for the first quarter, mostly due to an increase in crude oil from two additional wells. His baldness stated that government’s revenues increased from this ‘windfall’ (not to be mistaken for Barrow’s bogus windfall tax) but alas, that very boon to Government’s coffers due to the increase in oil production and oil prices meant that consumers suffered from increased prices at the pumps. Now hold up just a damned minute there, boss. Government got more money from oil and Belizeans had to pay more money for fuel. There’s something wrong with that there equation. I vaguely remember king baldy promising to lower government’s take on fuel if prices passed the $7 mark. That never materialized. Then the price passed the $8 mark and the $9 mark, and it still did not materialize. Now it’s past the $10 mark and Belizeans are bawling at the pumps while the king vulture gloats because GOB is raking in so much more. Man, off with his head…If Da Noh Soh!

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Increased activity…

And the words coming out of Mr. Barrow’s mouth just got ‘curiouser and curiouser.’ When the leader of the nation was asked if imports had picked up, since that is an indication of the spending power of Belizeans, he said that the figures didn’t show it, but he personally had picked up an increase in activity at the Corozal Free Zone. Hahahahaha. What an idiot. Of course there’s been increased activity at the Corozal Free Zone. Everybody knows that. Customs is still looking for two container loads of goods which vanished mysteriously in the Zone. There’s some activity for you. There’s a helluva lot of activity up north in general, but like Mr. Barrow said the reports won’t show it because government isn’t getting any revenue off it. It’s called contraband, stupid. Maybe you should talk to your fellow minister. People say that he’s quite knowledgeable about the trade. He could maybe fill you in on the increased activity in the Free Zone, though we can’t promise you’d like what you hear, you being of sterling character and all…If Da Noh Soh!

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LOL…

I swear Mr. Barrow could headline as one of the kings of comedy. He’s that funny. Last night the man looked down his patrician nose and with a straight face, get this, he states – well, Jules, you know me. Ahem ahem, I always distance myself from anything with even a hint of impropriety! Yup, that confirms it. Mr. Barrow is the real jackass. He must be joking. He has been accused of the very worst impropriety in his appointment of UDP cronies to certain key positions – like Alberto August to Chair the Elections and Boundaries Commission; like Marilyn Williams to head the Financial Intelligence Unit; like his brother Denys to sit on the Court of Appeals; like his wife and son to sit of the board of the hijacked BTL. The list goes on and on and on. Mr. Barrow is the boss of impropriety, the king of impropriety, the ruler of the land of impropriety. You get the point…If Da Noh Soh!